silicon.valley.s01e08

5
00:15:33,950 –> 00:15:37,950
{\an5}{\pos(244.837,241.727)}本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译
禁止用作任何商业盈利行为

7
00:15:37,950 –> 00:15:41,950
{\an2}{\pos(190,268)}翻译:王大可 吃货丁小七 抹茶咖啡

9
00:15:41,950 –> 00:15:45,950
{\an2}{\pos(190,268)}翻译:蓝光章鱼X 七七 CiciXY 面条打包子

11
00:15:45,950 –> 00:15:49,950
{\an2}{\pos(190,268)}时间轴:安安 阿包 薛定谔的猫

13
00:15:49,950 –> 00:15:53,950
{\an2}{\pos(190,268)}校对:面条打包子 王小麦

15
00:15:53,950 –> 00:15:57,950
{\an2}{\pos(190,268)}后期:灰灰是菇凉 总监: 面条打包子

16
00:00:07,060 –> 00:00:09,550
我要把你的弟弟扯下来 你个混蛋
I’ll rip your dick off, you son of a bitch!

17
00:00:09,550 –> 00:00:10,350
我的眼睛
My eye!

18
00:00:11,510 –> 00:00:13,770
我仅代表本次创业展会的组委会
On behalf of the entire Disrupt conference,

19
00:00:13,770 –> 00:00:15,980
为今天下午发生的事情
I would like to apologize

20
00:00:15,980 –> 00:00:18,590
向大家道歉
for what happened out there this afternoon.

21
00:00:18,640 –> 00:00:21,560
我们将永不邀请这位先生担任评委
This man will never be asked to judge again.

22
00:00:21,800 –> 00:00:24,910
我刚刚得知他已被甲骨文公司解雇
I’ve just learned he’s been fired from Oracle,

23
00:00:25,150 –> 00:00:26,910
显然他的夫人也离开了他
and apparently his wife left him.

24
00:00:26,990 –> 00:00:31,300
总之我刚接到您的律师拉弗兰梅的电话
Anyway, I just got a call from your attorney, Mr. LaFlamme,

25
00:00:31,440 –> 00:00:35,000
告知我在他看来 这次事故
informing me that in his view this incident is…

26
00:00:35,000 –> 00:00:37,160
他是可以采取行动的
actionable.

27
00:00:37,160 –> 00:00:40,910
同时’魔笛手’公司潜在的数十亿营业额
And in addition to holding TechCrunch liable for any damages,

28
00:00:40,910 –> 00:00:43,100
和市场份额可能会产生损失
which may include the loss to Pied Piper

29
00:00:43,100 –> 00:00:46,650
‘科技博客’要对此负责
of potentially billions in revenue and share value,

30
00:00:46,790 –> 00:00:51,600
他有可能起诉我个人
uh, he be may naming me personally in a lawsuit.

31
00:00:51,900 –> 00:00:54,080
因此 我提议
So… I would like to propose that

32
00:00:54,080 –> 00:00:56,790
我们不计前嫌
we put this incident behind us,

33
00:00:56,900 –> 00:00:59,500
法律上来讲就是
legally speaking, by sending

34
00:00:59,500 –> 00:01:02,150
将’魔笛手’直接送入
Pied Piper directly through to the finals

35
00:01:02,160 –> 00:01:03,740
创业展会的决赛
of Start-Up Battlefield,

36
00:01:03,740 –> 00:01:06,620
你们将角逐最终大奖
where you will compete for the grand prize.

37
00:01:07,310 –> 00:01:09,360
-这个主意怎么样 -我觉得这

  • How does that sound? - I think that’s…

38
00:01:09,360 –> 00:01:14,330
只有一个问题 关于我们的住宿
One question, uh, regarding our hotel accommodations?

39
00:01:20,850 –> 00:01:23,020
我说对了吧 伙计们
Bam! Am I right, guys?

40
00:01:25,210 –> 00:01:27,850
我一开始只是很高兴你被揍了 埃利希
I was just happy you got punched in the face, Erlich,

41
00:01:27,850 –> 00:01:31,980
但现在我超级开心 就好像连赢两次
but now I’m super happy. I feel like I won twice.

42
00:01:31,980 –> 00:01:33,960
我要征用这个厕所
I’m gonna disrupt this bathroom.

43
00:01:36,270 –> 00:01:37,440
我觉得这个不是沙发床
I don’t think this couch pulls out.

44
00:01:37,440 –> 00:01:39,720
我还是去给自己找个折叠床吧
I guess I’ll get myself a roll-away bed.

45
00:01:39,720 –> 00:01:41,290
我是说 各位 不客气
I mean, you’re welcome, guys.

46
00:01:41,490 –> 00:01:43,490
我不得不搞一个已婚妇女 挨一顿揍
I had to fuck a wife and take a punch,

47
00:01:43,490 –> 00:01:45,790
但我们现在进了明天的决赛
but now we get to go into the finals tomorrow

48
00:01:45,790 –> 00:01:48,120
而且完全不用担心毁在预赛上
without having blown our wad in the prelims.

49
00:01:48,700 –> 00:01:51,110
我们渐入佳境了 伙计们 渐入佳境
We’re trending up, boys. We are trending up.

50
00:01:51,110 –> 00:01:54,330
也许你说得对 但我们应该下去
Maybe you’re right. But we should probably get back down there

51
00:01:54,330 –> 00:01:55,560
看看比赛
and check out the competition.

52
00:01:56,330 –> 00:01:59,010
女士们 先生们 有请盖文·贝尔森
Ladies and gentlemen, Gavin Belson.

53
00:02:02,350 –> 00:02:05,820
不管大家怎么说 大小很重要
No matter what you may have heard, size matters.

54
00:02:06,460 –> 00:02:10,330
欢迎各位随我一起领略’纽核力’的魅力
Welcome, everyone, to a journey into the Nucleus.

55
00:02:10,340 –> 00:02:11,400
希望它很烂
I hope this sucks.

56
00:02:11,400 –> 00:02:14,220
‘纽核力’将为您提供有史以来
Nucleus will provide the most diverse features

57
00:02:13,020 –> 00:02:16,750
{\an8}纽核力

58
00:02:14,220 –> 00:02:17,040
功能最多元化的基于云的压缩组件
ever assembled in a cloud-based compression suite.

59
00:02:17,040 –> 00:02:20,110
海量功能 内部交互性
Massive functionality, inter-connectivity,

60
00:02:20,110 –> 00:02:21,030
以及人们一直期望
and the simplicity

61
00:02:21,030 –> 00:02:23,550
从互利产品中获得的简便性
one has come to expect from the Hooli family.

62
00:02:23,550 –> 00:02:24,990
我们让你们的所有文件
We’re making all your files

63
00:02:24,990 –> 00:02:28,130
都可以实现瞬间下载
available for lightning-fast download.

64
00:02:28,280 –> 00:02:30,020
可以从任何设备登入
Accessible from any device.

65
00:02:30,310 –> 00:02:34,860
所有这些功能都将与互利邮件
All these features will be seamlessly synced to Hooli-mail,

66
00:02:34,860 –> 00:02:38,970
互利搜索及所有互利电脑应用无缝衔接
Hooli-search and the full suite of Hooli computing power.

67
00:02:38,970 –> 00:02:40,640
这些功能可不少啊
That’s a lot of functionality.

68
00:02:40,860 –> 00:02:43,680
别担心 他的维斯曼评分肯定比不上我们
Don’t worry, he can’t come close to our Weissman score.

69
00:02:43,680 –> 00:02:44,950
就算有这些额外功能
Even with all this extra shit,

70
00:02:44,950 –> 00:02:47,350
就像是一辆豪华轿车配了个破引擎
it’s like a fancy car with a crappy engine.

71
00:02:47,360 –> 00:02:49,930
现在 见证奇迹的时刻到了
And now, for the moment of truth.

72
00:02:50,050 –> 00:02:52,000
就像你们看到的那样
As you will now see,

73
00:02:52,000 –> 00:02:56,300
我们的维斯曼评分是史上最佳
our Weissman score is the best in the history of compression.

74
00:02:56,300 –> 00:02:58,840
{\an8}压缩评分 2.89

75
00:02:58,550 –> 00:02:59,730
什么情况
What the fuck?

76
00:02:59,740 –> 00:03:01,460
得分和我们一模一样
That’s exactly the same score as us.

77
00:03:01,460 –> 00:03:05,530
2.89 这不是出错误了
Two-point-eight-nine. That is not an error.

78
00:03:06,160 –> 00:03:08,260
我们站在世界巅峰
We are breathing rare air here,

79
00:03:08,340 –> 00:03:11,310
冲击着无损压缩的极限
operating at the limit for lossless compression

80
00:03:11,620 –> 00:03:14,110
无论是音频 视频 还是数据
in audio, video and data.

81
00:03:14,560 –> 00:03:16,250
任何声称会比我们快的平台
Anyone who tells you that their platform

82
00:03:16,250 –> 00:03:19,110
最好请了个好律师
is faster than ours better have good lawyers.

83
00:03:20,090 –> 00:03:22,500
希望你们喜欢’纽核力’
I hope you’ve enjoyed your journey into the Nucleus.

84
00:03:21,320 –> 00:03:22,480
{\an8}纽核力

85
00:03:22,710 –> 00:03:25,650
我们有速度 我们有功能
We have the speed. We have the features.

86
00:03:25,650 –> 00:03:28,810
我们还有 夏奇拉
And we have… Shakira!

87
00:03:25,850 –> 00:03:28,300
{\an8}’纽核力’

88
00:03:28,300 –> 00:03:32,000
{\an8}夏奇拉

89
00:03:33,020 –> 00:03:34,630
‘科技博客’的各位好
Hola, TechCrunch!

90
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an6}第

91
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an6}一

92
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an6}季

93
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an6}第

94
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an6}八

95
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an6}集

96
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an4}{\pos(234.6,240)}硅

97
00:03:43,320 –> 00:03:46,280
{\an4}{\pos(275.4,224.8)}谷

98
00:03:47,370 –> 00:03:50,910
他们直接逆向编译了
I mean, they just completely reverse-engineered

99
00:03:50,910 –> 00:03:52,670
我们整个压缩引擎
our entire compression engine.

100
00:03:52,680 –> 00:03:54,350
我们死定了
He totally sniped us.

101
00:03:54,460 –> 00:03:56,040
-我们没事的 -什么

  • We’ll be fine. - What?

102
00:03:56,670 –> 00:04:00,120
这比赛评审标准就是市场竞争力
They judge this contest on viability in the marketplace.

103
00:04:00,140 –> 00:04:03,700
我们撑死了也只是’纽核力’的次品版
I mean, at best, we’re a worse version of Nucleus.

104
00:04:03,700 –> 00:04:06,170
他们有50个模块 都完美无缺
I mean, they have 50 modules, and they’re all awesome.

105
00:04:06,180 –> 00:04:07,960
我们的五个模块都不怎么成型
We have five that barely work.

106
00:04:07,960 –> 00:04:10,500
我们压缩3D文件还有问题
I mean, we’re still have trouble compressing 3D files.

107
00:04:10,500 –> 00:04:11,840
这产品谁会买
Who’s lining up to buy that?

108
00:04:11,840 –> 00:04:13,250
谁他妈在乎这个
Who the fuck cares?

109
00:04:13,340 –> 00:04:15,400
我们的平台搞不定3D文件
So the platform can’t handle 3D files.

110
00:04:15,400 –> 00:04:17,870
那又怎样 3D电影本来就差劲
You know what, 3D movies suck anyway.

111
00:04:17,910 –> 00:04:20,810
其实我觉得盖文这点破事对我们反而是好事
I could actually argue this Gavin nonsense is a positive.

112
00:04:20,810 –> 00:04:21,660
还是别…
Please don’t…

113
00:04:21,680 –> 00:04:24,130
明天的重头戏我们加把劲就行了
We just need to really dial it up for the big show tomorrow.

114
00:04:24,130 –> 00:04:26,560
-怎么加 我们没戏了 -上场前

  • Dial what up? He just ruined us. - And until then,

115
00:04:26,560 –> 00:04:29,300
我们只要像自然界所有困兽一样
we need to do what any animal in nature does when it’s cornered,

116
00:04:29,300 –> 00:04:32,460
表现失常 冲周围人乱发火就好了
act erratically, and blindly lash out at everything around us.

117
00:04:32,750 –> 00:04:34,460
我去探探盖文的口风
I’m gonna go get in Gavin’s head.

118
00:04:34,570 –> 00:04:38,130
各位 我有个想法 现在是时候了
Hey, guys, I just had a thought. OK, so this is it, right?

119
00:04:38,620 –> 00:04:39,900
好多成功企业初创时
A lot of successful start-ups

120
00:04:39,900 –> 00:04:41,890
所用的商业模式都和后来不同
launched with a different business model,

121
00:04:41,900 –> 00:04:44,740
中途遇到困境才转型的
and when they ran into trouble, they pivoted to something new.

122
00:04:44,740 –> 00:04:46,500
比如Instagram初创时
Like Instagram. That was a

123
00:04:46,500 –> 00:04:48,780
做的是基于地点的签到服务
location-based check-in service when it started.

124
00:04:48,780 –> 00:04:50,090
后来才转型的
And then they pivoted.

125
00:04:50,090 –> 00:04:52,640
还有’聊天轮盘’本是社交媒体
Or Chatroulette, OK, that was social media,

126
00:04:52,640 –> 00:04:53,960
后来转型
and then they pivoted

127
00:04:53,960 –> 00:04:56,800
成了性变态们的游乐场
to become a playground for the sexually monstrous.

128
00:04:57,300 –> 00:04:58,440
我们只需一个新想法
We just need a new idea,

129
00:04:58,440 –> 00:05:00,690
找准需求 我们也能转型
something that people want. Right? We can pivot, too.

130
00:05:01,020 –> 00:05:02,810
老兄 你还真是一团糟
Dude, you are fucked up right now.

131
00:05:02,810 –> 00:05:04,810
没错 跟死机了一样
Yeah, you’re pinning bad.

132
00:05:04,810 –> 00:05:06,490
好吧 我承认我是有点睡眠不足
Well, I’ll admit, I’m sleep-challenged.

133
00:05:06,490 –> 00:05:09,410
我在石油钻机上的铁盒子里被困了四天
I just spent four days trapped in a steel box out on an oil rig

134
00:05:09,410 –> 00:05:11,140
那里只有机械叉车
full of robot-forklifts.

135
00:05:11,140 –> 00:05:13,630
的确不容易 但我回来了
So, that was hard, but I’m back.

136
00:05:13,630 –> 00:05:15,850
我正在恢复 仍很专注
I am recovering and I am focused

137
00:05:15,850 –> 00:05:18,030
我们会转型的 别放弃 各位
and we’re gonna pivot. Don’t lose faith, guys.

138
00:05:18,040 –> 00:05:20,400
好吧 看着我 看着我
All right, look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

139
00:05:21,290 –> 00:05:23,810
我们的名字棒极了 团队棒极了
We’ve got a great name. We’ve got a great team.

140
00:05:23,810 –> 00:05:26,490
标志棒极了 名字也棒极了
We’ve got a great logo, and we’ve got a great name.

141
00:05:26,490 –> 00:05:27,830
现在只差一个好想法
Now we just need an idea.

142
00:05:28,240 –> 00:05:30,650
我们转型吧 来转型
Let’s pivot! Let’s pivot!

143
00:05:33,660 –> 00:05:35,710
没准他就一去不回了
That might be the last time we see him alive.

144
00:05:35,710 –> 00:05:37,480
我打算出去走一走
I think I’m just gonna take a walk and,

145
00:05:37,480 –> 00:05:38,950
静下心来思考下
you know, try and clear my head.

146
00:05:38,950 –> 00:05:41,000
我们回头酒店房间见
I’ll see you guys back at the hotel room

147
00:05:41,000 –> 00:05:43,000
再想对策
and we’ll figure out what to do.

148
00:05:46,080 –> 00:05:47,460
我们要成穷光蛋了
We’re going to be poor.

149
00:05:48,940 –> 00:05:50,750
你好 我想和你们讲讲
Hi! I’d like to talk to you

150
00:05:50,750 –> 00:05:52,950
一个叫’魔笛手’的公司
about a company called Pied Piper.

151
00:05:52,960 –> 00:05:54,630
这公司是做什么的 问得好
What does it do? Good question.

152
00:05:54,720 –> 00:05:56,390
也许你们能帮我们找到答案
Maybe you can help us find an answer.

153
00:05:56,630 –> 00:06:00,430
‘魔笛手’可以是个吸引啮齿动物的应用
What if Pied Piper was an app that could attract rodents?

154
00:06:00,430 –> 00:06:02,110
就像童话里那样
You know, like the fairy tale?

155
00:06:02,110 –> 00:06:05,480
可以用来灭鼠或者喂你们的宠物蛇
For purposes of extermination or to feed your pet snake.

156
00:06:05,480 –> 00:06:08,290
我们不是来指导你们怎样处置耗子的
We’re not here to tell you what to do with your rats,

157
00:06:08,290 –> 00:06:10,700
我们只负责马上搞到耗子
we’re here to get your rats, STAT.

158
00:06:10,700 –> 00:06:11,960
你们对此感兴趣吗
Would you be very interested,

159
00:06:11,960 –> 00:06:14,070
有点感兴趣 还是完全没兴趣
somewhat interested or not interested?

160
00:06:14,080 –> 00:06:18,080
选哪项 选哪项 哪一个
Which one? Which one? Which one?

161
00:06:20,840 –> 00:06:24,970
看看他们 满心希冀 这帮混蛋
Look at them, all full of hope. Pricks.

162
00:06:25,150 –> 00:06:27,630
‘怪客皮’在招人呢
Oh, look, Kwerpy’s here recruiting.

163
00:06:27,630 –> 00:06:29,400
他们刚在第一轮融资拿到了两千万
They just got 20 million in Series A

164
00:06:29,400 –> 00:06:32,440
估价2.8亿美元呢
at a $280 million dollar valuation.

165
00:06:32,440 –> 00:06:35,070
本来应该是我们的
That could have been us.

166
00:06:36,200 –> 00:06:37,920
可惜我们已经工作了
It’s too bad we already have jobs,

167
00:06:37,920 –> 00:06:39,810
不然可以去那里
we could easily go work there.

168
00:06:41,990 –> 00:06:45,680
现在背叛理查德简直就是傻逼行为吧
It’d be a real dickhead move to bail on Richard now, right?

169
00:06:45,950 –> 00:06:48,300
在我们公司正式被垮掉之前
I mean, before we officially go under.

170
00:06:49,440 –> 00:06:52,490
是啊 超傻逼的行为
Yeah. Yeah. Total dickhead move.

171
00:06:55,260 –> 00:06:57,910
尽管 只是时间问题了
Even though… it is just a matter of days.

172
00:06:57,910 –> 00:07:01,500
-我们近在咫尺 -他就站在那里

  • And we are so close. - I mean, he is standing right there.

173
00:07:02,490 –> 00:07:04,280
-可我不是傻逼 -我也不是

  • But I’m not a dickhead. - No. Neither am I.

174
00:07:04,290 –> 00:07:05,890
我们不是一群傻逼
Yep, just a couple of non-dickheads.

175
00:07:05,890 –> 00:07:07,410
我的鸡巴和脑子完全不同
My dick and my head, totally separate.

176
00:07:07,410 –> 00:07:10,300
你也听过”该付钱给魔笛手了”的说法吧
You’ve heard the phrase, “Time to pay the piper,” Right?

177
00:07:10,770 –> 00:07:14,430
如果有个叫’魔笛手’的程序
What if there was an app called Pied Piper that could tell you,

178
00:07:14,450 –> 00:07:16,450
能够相当肯定地告诉你
to a statistical degree of certainty,

179
00:07:16,450 –> 00:07:18,250
你以后会上天堂还是下地狱的话
whether you were going to heaven or hell?

180
00:07:18,970 –> 00:07:21,790
超感兴趣 一般感兴趣还是不感兴趣
Very interested, somewhat interested, not interested?

181
00:07:22,440 –> 00:07:25,540
选哪个 选哪个 哪个
Which one? Which one? Which one?

182
00:07:26,180 –> 00:07:28,780
你为’纽核力’夸下了不少海口
So you made some really over-the-top promises about Nucleus.

183
00:07:28,780 –> 00:07:30,670
-你真的能做到吗 -当然

  • Can you deliver? - Absolutely.

184
00:07:31,070 –> 00:07:33,360
对我来说 卡拉 优秀 伟大
For me, Kara, goodness, greatness,

185
00:07:33,360 –> 00:07:35,360
这些不只是说说而已
these are not simply catch phrases,

186
00:07:35,360 –> 00:07:37,650
这些从一开始就是’互利’的宗旨
but, in fact, really the intention of Hooli from the beginning.

187
00:07:37,650 –> 00:07:40,870
嘉文 你不需要借着回答卖瓜
Gavin, you do not need to dignify any of this with a response!

188
00:07:40,870 –> 00:07:42,200
我能为自己代言
I can speak for myself.

189
00:07:42,200 –> 00:07:44,180
‘魔笛手’的埃利希·巴赫曼
Erlich Bachman, Pied Piper.

190
00:07:44,180 –> 00:07:46,430
我是否受到了残酷的攻击 没错
Was I brutally assaulted? Yes.

191
00:07:46,540 –> 00:07:49,500
这一切跟盖文·贝尔森有关吗 不清楚
Did Gavin Belson here have anything to do with it? Unclear.

192
00:07:49,500 –> 00:07:51,040
我只知道’科技博客’现在疯传的流言
All I know is that the rumor

193
00:07:51,040 –> 00:07:54,840
都是未被证实的
that TechCrunch is all abuzz about is unproven.

194
00:07:54,840 –> 00:07:56,320
-等等 什么流言 -谢谢

  • Wait, what rumor? - Thank you.

195
00:07:56,320 –> 00:07:58,720
为什么盖文会与此有关呢
Why would Gavin have anything to do with this?

196
00:07:58,720 –> 00:08:00,720
只有可能是因为
Unless he had some reason to be

197
00:08:00,720 –> 00:08:04,110
他怕了’魔笛手’和它的领先技术
frightened by Pied Piper and it’s superior technology?

198
00:08:04,110 –> 00:08:08,520
这及其他盖文·贝尔森的流言都未经证实
This and all other Gavin Belson rumors are unsubstantiated.

199
00:08:08,530 –> 00:08:12,210
比如酗酒 办公室性骚扰
OK, the alcoholism, the sexual impropriety at work,

200
00:08:12,210 –> 00:08:15,100
‘互利’股票即将大跌
the impending crash of Hooli’s stock…

201
00:08:15,100 –> 00:08:16,730
这简直是最荒谬的…
This is the most ridiculous…

202
00:08:16,730 –> 00:08:19,590
没错 所以我们为什么要重复这些
Exactly. So why repeat the lascivious details,

203
00:08:19,590 –> 00:08:22,640
大家无疑已经耳熟能详的荒淫细节
with which all of us are undoubtedly already familiar?

204
00:08:22,640 –> 00:08:25,470
无论你是否有罪 盖文 我都支持你
Guilty or not, Gavin, I stand with you.

205
00:08:26,150 –> 00:08:27,210
有什么评论吗
Care to comment?

206
00:08:31,230 –> 00:08:32,470
我们继续走吧
Let’s keep moving, shall we?

207
00:08:32,470 –> 00:08:35,270
就是 继续前行 别理会这些
Yes, let’s all keep moving. Let’s move on from this.

208
00:08:35,270 –> 00:08:36,500
我原谅你 盖文
I forgive you, Gavin.

209
00:08:36,500 –> 00:08:39,070
无论我被如何残酷地攻击过
No matter how brutally I was assaulted.

210
00:08:39,800 –> 00:08:42,320
‘魔笛手’听起来是个超赞的公司
Wow, Pied Piper sounds like a great place to work.

211
00:08:42,320 –> 00:08:43,660
那当然
Oh, yeah, it is.

212
00:08:43,660 –> 00:08:45,800
‘魔笛手’是最好的 对吧
Pied Piper is the best, right?

213
00:08:45,800 –> 00:08:49,220
神啊 每天感觉都像下了地狱
Oh, my God, everyday feels like I’ve died and gone to hell.

214
00:08:49,650 –> 00:08:50,190
你说什么
I’m sorry.

215
00:08:50,190 –> 00:08:52,110
他是个撒旦崇拜者 所以是很棒的意思
He’s a Satanist, so it’s good.

216
00:08:52,400 –> 00:08:55,040
-真有趣 -重点是 我们热爱公司

  • Oh, fun. - The point is, we love our company,

217
00:08:55,040 –> 00:08:56,850
而且愿意大声说出来
and I don’t have a problem saying that out loud.

218
00:08:56,850 –> 00:08:58,270
-你呢 -爱公司

  • You… - Love it.

219
00:08:58,270 –> 00:09:00,520
我们都大声说出来了
We both say it out loud and I think that fact,

220
00:09:00,520 –> 00:09:03,150
这也意味着我们不是傻逼
proves that we’re not dickheads.

221
00:09:04,720 –> 00:09:07,030
所以我们想问的是…
So what we wanted to ask you was…

222
00:09:07,030 –> 00:09:08,000
两位
Guys?

223
00:09:09,560 –> 00:09:12,820
别说出去 我们的测试崩了
Totally between us, our beta crapped out.

224
00:09:13,470 –> 00:09:16,660
风投已经撤资 第一轮融资胎死腹中
The VC’s did a full clawback and our Series A is DOA.

225
00:09:16,790 –> 00:09:17,840
我们准备关门大吉了
We’re going down.

226
00:09:18,420 –> 00:09:21,390
剩下的资金最多只能再运作两三周
We have enough runway for maybe two, three weeks max.

227
00:09:21,760 –> 00:09:25,800
所以你们愿意雇我吗
So… do you guys think you could hire me?

228
00:09:31,900 –> 00:09:33,020
对你们来说一个名为’魔笛手’的
How much would it be worth to you

229
00:09:33,020 –> 00:09:36,200
能随时了解孩子位置的定位程序
if I told you I had a GPS app called Pied Piper,

230
00:09:36,210 –> 00:09:38,190
有多少价值
tracking the location of your child?

231
00:09:38,210 –> 00:09:39,610
我能在任何地方找到你们孩子
I can follow your child anywhere,

232
00:09:39,610 –> 00:09:41,720
而且没有任何方式能够阻止我
and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

233
00:09:42,290 –> 00:09:44,460
大多数失踪儿童都没能找回来
Most missing children are never found.

234
00:09:44,950 –> 00:09:47,620
感兴趣 非常感兴趣还是非常感兴趣
Interested, very interested, or very interested?

235
00:09:51,680 –> 00:09:53,700
理查德 你好
Richard. Hi…

236
00:09:53,700 –> 00:09:56,780
-你好 行李箱 -没错

  • Hey… suitcase. Yeah. - Yeah.

237
00:09:56,780 –> 00:09:58,030
所以你要…
So you’re…

238
00:09:58,560 –> 00:10:01,970
彼得来电话了 他看了埃利希的演示
Peter called. He saw Erlich’s presentation,

239
00:10:02,220 –> 00:10:03,610
如果那算演示的话
such as it was.

240
00:10:03,610 –> 00:10:05,350
盖文的也看了
And Gavin’s.

241
00:10:06,070 –> 00:10:08,390
所以他想让我回帕罗奥多
So he wants me to go back to Palo Alto.

242
00:10:08,440 –> 00:10:11,220
还有些别的事他想让我去办
There’s just a few other things he wants me working on.

243
00:10:11,470 –> 00:10:13,960
反正我们已经死得透透的了
Now that we’re, you know, dead in the water.

244
00:10:14,260 –> 00:10:17,710
我很抱歉你拒绝了那么大一笔钱
Listen, I’m sorry you walked away from the money like you did.

245
00:10:17,710 –> 00:10:19,800
但我发誓我让彼得投资给你的原因
But I swear I only wanted Peter to seed you

246
00:10:19,810 –> 00:10:22,460
纯粹是因为我相信你有一个好团队
because I thought you had a really great company.

247
00:10:22,460 –> 00:10:25,030
很遗憾这次没成
It just didn’t work out for you this time.

248
00:10:25,030 –> 00:10:26,600
我能不能跟你说实话
Uh… can I be honest with you?

249
00:10:26,600 –> 00:10:30,420
过去几个月我每次睡觉都不超过两小时
I haven’t had more than two straight hours of sleep in months.

250
00:10:30,420 –> 00:10:32,640
一场感冒断断续续病了一年
I’ve had a cold for, like, a year.

251
00:10:32,960 –> 00:10:35,770
我的胃疼得感觉简直就像来了月经
My stomach cramps up so much I feel like I’m menstruating.

252
00:10:36,690 –> 00:10:38,150
也许这样对谁都好
Maybe this is for the better.

253
00:10:39,810 –> 00:10:41,290
我得走了
Look, I gotta go.

254
00:10:42,320 –> 00:10:44,920
我很遗憾我们不能再在一起工作了
I’m really sorry that we’re not gonna be working together anymore.

255
00:10:44,920 –> 00:10:46,520
我也是
Yeah, me too.

256
00:10:47,510 –> 00:10:50,740
我估计 你和我也不太可能再见面了
I guess… I guess we won’t see each other again.

257
00:10:51,030 –> 00:10:54,490
这个嘛 既然现在同事之间交往的规矩
Well, I mean, now that the rules about socializing with co-workers

258
00:10:54,490 –> 00:10:56,050
已经不适用于我们了
aren’t in effect anymore.

259
00:10:56,560 –> 00:10:58,420
哪天你想出来喝一杯 就叫上我
Let me know if you want to grab a drink sometime.

260
00:10:59,360 –> 00:11:01,750
是那种意思的喝一杯吗
What, like a “Drink” drink?

261
00:11:02,390 –> 00:11:04,170
你总是和失败者约会吗
You go on dates with failures?

262
00:11:05,400 –> 00:11:08,100
-一贯如此 -那好

  • Constantly. - OK.

263
00:11:08,930 –> 00:11:10,650
那再见了
Uh… bye.

264
00:11:10,990 –> 00:11:12,160
-再见 -好

  • Bye. - OK.

265
00:11:15,230 –> 00:11:18,270
你这回身上是否携带了什么武器或药物
You have any weapons or drugs on your person at this time?

266
00:11:18,700 –> 00:11:20,980
当然 我当然带着
Why, yes. Yes, I do.

267
00:11:25,480 –> 00:11:26,220
阿得拉[兴奋剂]
Adderall.

268
00:11:26,220 –> 00:11:28,780
这可是管制药物 是你的吗
This is a highly controlled substance. Are these yours?

269
00:11:28,780 –> 00:11:32,310
当然不是 这是我带回家的一未成年小孩的
No! Those belong to an underage kid that I brought to my house.

270
00:11:32,820 –> 00:11:35,450
先生 恐怕我得要求您跟我走一趟了
Yeah, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.

271
00:11:35,450 –> 00:11:36,640
多谢您的善意邀请
That’s a kind invitation,

272
00:11:36,640 –> 00:11:38,510
但我实在太忙了 我在转型呢
but I have too much to do. I’m pivoting!

273
00:11:38,510 –> 00:11:41,040
-快走 -就不 我在转型 在转型

  • Let’s go now! - No. I’m pivoting! I’m pivoting!

274
00:11:41,040 –> 00:11:42,260
让我转型
I’m pivoting!

275
00:11:43,820 –> 00:11:47,000
明天咱们拿什么去展示啊
I mean, what do we even present tomorrow?

276
00:11:47,270 –> 00:11:48,790
有话尽管说 各位
Honestly, anyone?

277
00:11:48,790 –> 00:11:50,340
我们还有必要去演讲吗
Why do we have to present at all?

278
00:11:50,350 –> 00:11:51,670
你这话什么意思
What’s that supposed to mean?

279
00:11:51,690 –> 00:11:53,200
如果我们横竖都要丢这个人
If we are going to fail and be humiliated,

280
00:11:53,200 –> 00:11:55,250
为什么非要当着一千多人的面
why do it on stage in front of 1,000 people

281
00:11:55,250 –> 00:11:56,730
-在现场直播时丢人呢 -就是

  • and a live-streamed audience? - Yeah.

282
00:11:56,730 –> 00:11:58,700
你是说咱们连面都不要露吗
Are you saying we shouldn’t even show up?

283
00:11:58,710 –> 00:12:02,170
无意冒犯 但这跟公开枪决差不多了
No offense, but it’s basically going to be a public execution.

284
00:12:02,170 –> 00:12:04,610
可是公开枪决多抓眼球啊
Yes, and public executions are very popular.

285
00:12:04,610 –> 00:12:07,410
要的就是演出效果 不能退出 理查德
It’s show business. We are not quitting, Richard.

286
00:12:07,410 –> 00:12:10,340
埃利希 我当然很想去做展示
Look, Erlich, I want to present, I do,

287
00:12:10,340 –> 00:12:12,710
只不过 还能行吗
it’s just… I don’t know.

288
00:12:17,350 –> 00:12:19,120
我去 你还好吗
Jesus, are you OK?

289
00:12:19,160 –> 00:12:21,840
说啥 好 我挺好
What? Yeah, I… OK.

290
00:12:21,850 –> 00:12:23,880
非常好 他们放我出来了
Yeah, all good. They let me go.

291
00:12:23,910 –> 00:12:24,990
谁放的你
Who let you go?

292
00:12:24,990 –> 00:12:26,870
你多久没睡觉了 贾里德
When was the last time you slept, Jared?

293
00:12:26,940 –> 00:12:30,840
太对了 大卫 聊什么呢几位
Absolutely, David. What are we talking about, gents?

294
00:12:30,840 –> 00:12:33,900
我们在说我在预赛没捞着做展示
We’re talking about how I didn’t get to present in the prelims,

295
00:12:33,900 –> 00:12:35,780
因为我光忙着让人往我脸上砸拳头
because I was too busy getting my face pummeled

296
00:12:35,780 –> 00:12:37,530
好让我们公司更进一步
so that our team could move forward.

297
00:12:37,540 –> 00:12:39,230
所以明天的展示非做不可
That’s why we’re presenting tomorrow.

298
00:12:39,230 –> 00:12:41,390
而且跟你们说吧 咱们要赢
And you know what? We’re going to win.

299
00:12:41,390 –> 00:12:44,450
我们无论如何都要赢 哪怕要我走下台去
Yeah, we’re gonna win even if I have to go into the auditorium

300
00:12:44,450 –> 00:12:47,050
给每位观众亲手撸一炮
and personally jerk off every guy in the audience.

301
00:12:47,360 –> 00:12:48,890
那你得撸多少炮啊
That’s a lot of jerking.

302
00:12:49,820 –> 00:12:52,940
我们的展示时间只有十分钟 所以
And we only have ten minutes to present. So…

303
00:12:52,940 –> 00:12:55,580
所以我们完蛋了 对不对
So, we’re fucked, aren’t we?

304
00:12:57,430 –> 00:12:59,300
就算他同时给两个人撸
Yeah, even if he’s jerking two at a time,

305
00:12:59,300 –> 00:13:01,780
大厅里一共有 就算800人吧
there are, what, 800 guys in that room?

306
00:13:01,780 –> 00:13:05,150
那就是400乘以平均撸管时间
So that’s 400 times whatever the mean jerk-time is.

307
00:13:05,150 –> 00:13:06,990
-什么 -平均撸管时间

  • The what? - Mean jerk-time.

308
00:13:06,990 –> 00:13:09,220
虽然无关紧要 但是理论上讲
I mean, it doesn’t matter, but, hypothetically,

309
00:13:09,220 –> 00:13:11,040
按一次给两人撸算
time is equal to 400 total jerks

310
00:13:11,040 –> 00:13:12,740
总共是撸400人的时间
at a two-dick rate.

311
00:13:13,280 –> 00:13:15,740
如果埃利希能同时撸四个人的话
Unless Erlich jerks off four guys at a time,

312
00:13:15,740 –> 00:13:17,040
时间就能减半了
and then we can cut that in half.

313
00:13:17,040 –> 00:13:19,530
四个人怎么撸 他只有两只手
How would he do four guys…? He’s got two hands,

314
00:13:19,530 –> 00:13:21,180
不就同时只能撸两个人吗
so that’s two dicks at a time, right?

315
00:13:21,180 –> 00:13:22,280
如果你两边各站两个人
Look, you have two guys

316
00:13:22,280 –> 00:13:24,950
都面对面站着
on either side with their dicks, tip to tip,

317
00:13:24,950 –> 00:13:26,590
这样的话就能从一头撸到另一头
so you’re going full-length.

318
00:13:27,010 –> 00:13:28,790
就是四个了 明白了吗
Four, see?

319
00:13:29,720 –> 00:13:31,490
从中点作发散状 这到是可行
From the middle out. That does make sense.

320
00:13:31,490 –> 00:13:32,890
-就像两只摇摆铃 -没错

  • Like two Shake Weights? - Yeah,

321
00:13:31,980 –> 00:13:33,220
{\an8}健身器材 用法颇为有趣

322
00:13:32,890 –> 00:13:35,070
所以假设我们的目标
so what we’re trying to do, hypothetically,

323
00:13:35,080 –> 00:13:38,540
是用时最短 也就是800个男的
is minimize time, which is 800 dudes,

324
00:13:38,540 –> 00:13:42,450
乘以撸射时间 再除以同时撸管数四
multiplied by mean-jerk time, divided by four dicks at a time.

325
00:13:42,450 –> 00:13:45,130
当然 埃利希需要提前按身高进行对象分拣
Of course, Erlich would have to pre-sort guys by height,

326
00:13:45,130 –> 00:13:46,880
这样他们的小弟弟才能在同一高度
so that their dicks lined up.

327
00:13:46,880 –> 00:13:48,570
技术上来说不能按身高配对
Not by height, technically.

328
00:13:48,580 –> 00:13:51,960
关键指标是小弟弟到地板的高度
The measurement that we’re looking for, really, is dick to floor.

329
00:13:52,470 –> 00:13:54,140
简称为弟高值
Call that D2F.

330
00:13:55,300 –> 00:13:56,320
天啊
Oh, my God.

331
00:13:56,320 –> 00:13:58,840
如果某人小弟弟够长的话
You know, if a guy’s dick was long enough,

332
00:13:58,850 –> 00:14:00,660
那他可以向上或向下兼容那些
it would be able to reach up or down

333
00:14:00,660 –> 00:14:02,870
和他弟高值不同的人
to another guy with a different D2F.

334
00:14:02,880 –> 00:14:06,550
小弟弟越长 弟高值兼容范围越大
The longer the dick, the greater the D2F bridge,

335
00:14:06,550 –> 00:14:10,220
这样我仍然可以顺畅地同时撸管
but I would still be able to jerk it off in one smooth motion…

336
00:14:10,770 –> 00:14:12,450
找好角度就行了
I’d just have to jerk it on an angle.

337
00:14:12,450 –> 00:14:14,960
所以弟高值1得等于弟高值2So D2F sub-1 needs to equal D2F sub-2,

338
00:14:14,960 –> 00:14:17,120
而弟高值3等于弟高值4and D2F sub-3 needs to equal D2F sub-4,

339
00:14:17,120 –> 00:14:18,670
而长度值会形成
where length L creates

340
00:14:18,670 –> 00:14:22,200
相应的轴间角
a complimentary shaft angle.

341
00:14:22,210 –> 00:14:23,770
称之为D角
Call that θ-D.

342
00:14:23,920 –> 00:14:26,780
-现在再把射时 -天啊

  • And now, the orgasm… - Oh shit! On my God!

343
00:14:27,580 –> 00:14:29,520
我真是个白痴 发散法
I’m such an idiot. Middle out!

344
00:14:29,680 –> 00:14:33,000
发散法 发散法 天啊
Middle out! Middle out! Oh, my God.

345
00:14:33,000 –> 00:14:34,770
我怎么就
How could I…?

346
00:14:36,880 –> 00:14:39,830
几位 如果粗细不同的话
Guys, does girth-similarity affect Erlich’s ability

347
00:14:39,830 –> 00:14:42,100
埃利希还能同时撸管吗
to jerk different dicks simultaneously?

348
00:14:46,760 –> 00:14:48,690
该死 我看有影响
Shit. Yeah, I think it would.

349
00:15:00,780 –> 00:15:02,280
当然有关系
Of course, it does.

350
00:15:02,290 –> 00:15:05,630
每一对小弟弟
Time to orgasm, or T2O,

351
00:15:05,950 –> 00:15:07,910
从开撸到射的时间 也就是撸射值必须相同
has to be the same for each matching pair of dicks

352
00:15:07,910 –> 00:15:09,880
否则我不就白白浪费那许多时间
otherwise I’m wasting a lot of great strokes on a guy

353
00:15:09,890 –> 00:15:10,850
给其中一个撸空管了
that’s already busted.

354
00:15:10,850 –> 00:15:13,120
但是如果你可以在撸管时”热插拔”的话
Unless you can hotswap dicks in and out.

355
00:15:13,120 –> 00:15:15,360
当你做向下运动时 换一个小弟弟进来
So on a downstroke, you get a new one in.

356
00:15:15,360 –> 00:15:17,560
这样再往上撸回去的时候就不是无用功了
So when you stroke up you’re not wasting any energy.

357
00:15:17,560 –> 00:15:20,570
尽管如此 持久度上来说 这是最可靠的算法
Even so, I think this is the most reliable metric for stamina.

358
00:15:20,570 –> 00:15:24,300
几位 理查德把自己锁在屋里两个小时了
Guys? Richard’s been locked in here for almost two hours.

359
00:15:24,300 –> 00:15:25,650
他不会有什么事吧
Do we think he’s OK?

360
00:15:27,270 –> 00:15:28,290
你不会认为他想不开
You don’t think he’d…

361
00:15:28,290 –> 00:15:29,750
他确实非常失落
He did seem pretty bummed out.

362
00:16:09,550 –> 00:16:10,590
好了几位 我们走
All right, guys, let’s go.

363
00:16:10,590 –> 00:16:12,390
高潮大戏要上演了 都起来
The finals are starting. Up!

364
00:16:12,390 –> 00:16:13,450
吉尔弗约尔
Gilfoyle!

365
00:16:13,980 –> 00:16:15,030
我晕
Jesus!

366
00:16:16,780 –> 00:16:19,210
这门怎么了这是
What happened to the door?

367
00:16:19,210 –> 00:16:21,270
别担心理查德 软件都调整好了吗
Don’t worry about it, Richard, is the platform up and running?

368
00:16:21,280 –> 00:16:24,270
我改了几处 但是 挺顺利
I made a few changes, but yeah…

369
00:16:24,270 –> 00:16:27,320
好 路上说 你们俩晃荡货 该走了
OK, tell me on the walk. All right, you dildos, let’s go!

370
00:16:27,600 –> 00:16:28,430
跟我仔细讲讲 理查德
All right, talk to me, Richard.

371
00:16:28,430 –> 00:16:29,830
你昨晚上忙什么呢
What were you working on last night?

372
00:16:29,830 –> 00:16:31,850
我昨晚上取得了点小突破
Well, uh, I might’ve made a breakthrough.

373
00:16:31,850 –> 00:16:33,210
是吗 所以软件完美了吗
Really, so everything is working?

374
00:16:33,210 –> 00:16:35,260
严格来讲 还不完美
Uh, technically, no.

375
00:16:45,580 –> 00:16:49,870
{\an8}祝好运 理查德 真遗憾我不能到

376
00:17:05,640 –> 00:17:08,520
说实话吧 姑娘们 还有比视觉用户体验
Let’s face it, ladies, is there anything less sexy

377
00:17:08,530 –> 00:17:12,720
完全达不到最优更不性感的事吗
than when a user’s visualization UX is completely sub-optimal?

378
00:17:12,730 –> 00:17:14,760
这是最差的了 不是吗
I mean, it’s the worst, right?

379
00:17:14,760 –> 00:17:17,130
我们对此进行了详尽而周密的研究
So we’ve gone through all the research and all the steps.

380
00:17:17,130 –> 00:17:18,870
而我们也找到了解决方案
We have a solution for these problems

381
00:17:18,870 –> 00:17:20,970
泽内拉团队也准备好将其推向市场
and Zenella is ready to bring it to the marketplace.

382
00:17:20,980 –> 00:17:23,180
我懂 理查德 你改了许多
Yeah, I get it, Richard. You changed a lot.

383
00:17:23,180 –> 00:17:25,150
简单给我介绍一下 我好把它讲出来
Just give me the basics and I can roll with it.

384
00:17:25,150 –> 00:17:26,700
我得知道我要展示的是什么
I need to know what I’m presenting here.

385
00:17:26,700 –> 00:17:28,720
我觉得我没时间详细解释了
I don’t think I have time to explain it all.

386
00:17:29,060 –> 00:17:30,040
这他妈是什么意思
What the hell does that mean?

387
00:17:30,040 –> 00:17:31,340
理查德 这个版本对吗
Richard? Is this the right build?

388
00:17:31,340 –> 00:17:33,090
我找不到移动套件
I can’t find the mobile suite here.

389
00:17:33,090 –> 00:17:35,920
移动套件没有了 我删掉了
Uh, it is nowhere. I deleted it.

390
00:17:35,930 –> 00:17:37,410
-什么 -他们来了

  • What? - Here they are.

391
00:17:37,620 –> 00:17:39,520
-‘魔笛手’来了 -抱歉我们迟到了

  • Pied Piper’s here. - Sorry we’re late.

392
00:17:39,820 –> 00:17:41,180
理查德 快告诉我
Richard, talk to me.

393
00:17:41,230 –> 00:17:43,580
如果不知道乐队要弹什么我还怎么唱
I can’t front a band without knowing what we’re playing?

394
00:17:43,580 –> 00:17:47,850
我想这次展示我得自己来了
Uh… I’m think I’m just going to do the presentation myself.

395
00:17:48,040 –> 00:17:50,150
你说什么 不行 不行 理查德
Wait, what? No, no, no, Richard, Richard, Richard, Richard.

396
00:17:50,150 –> 00:17:52,980
我没想不尊重你 但是你很糟糕
Respectfully… Respectfully, you’re terrible.

397
00:17:52,980 –> 00:17:55,320
现在有个世界一流的演讲者就站在你面前
You have world class showman standing right in front of you

398
00:17:55,320 –> 00:17:56,340
而你却打算自己来
and you’re going to pass on that?

399
00:17:56,340 –> 00:17:59,070
让我去吧 理查德 让海妖去吧
Release me, Richard. Release the Kraken!

400
00:17:59,070 –> 00:18:02,450
-‘魔笛手’ 该你们了 -是时候了

  • Pied Piper. You’re on. - This is it!

401
00:18:02,450 –> 00:18:03,920
我不知道你做了什么 理查德
I don’t know what you did, Richard,

402
00:18:03,920 –> 00:18:06,900
-但我希望能有用 -我也希望

  • but I hope it works. - Me, too.

403
00:18:06,900 –> 00:18:09,850
让我们欢迎本年度科技博客展会
All right, let’s welcome our final team to the finals

404
00:18:09,850 –> 00:18:13,170
创业竞技场决赛的最后一支队伍
of this year’s TechCrunch Disrupt Start-Up Battlefield.

405
00:18:13,170 –> 00:18:16,840
代表’魔笛手’做展示的是埃利希·巴赫曼
Presenting for Pied Piper is Erlich Bachman.

406
00:18:22,320 –> 00:18:25,510
事实上 计划有变
Uh… actually there has been a change of plans.

407
00:18:25,510 –> 00:18:29,430
代表’魔笛手’的将是理查德·亨德里克斯
Presenting for Pied Piper will be Richard Hendricks.

408
00:18:35,480 –> 00:18:36,460
理查德
Richard?

409
00:18:39,520 –> 00:18:41,700
抱歉 刚才大脑有点空白
Sorry. Got a little light-headed there for a second.

410
00:18:42,250 –> 00:18:44,400
都准备好了 现在看你的了
I set ‘em up for you, now knock ‘em down.

411
00:18:46,030 –> 00:18:48,870
我不明白 我以为他优化了平台
I don’t understand. I thought he made the platform better.

412
00:18:48,870 –> 00:18:50,420
但他只是删掉了所有东西
He just deleted everything.

413
00:18:50,420 –> 00:18:51,840
也许他移到云上了
Maybe he moved it to the cloud?

414
00:18:51,840 –> 00:18:54,980
没有 ‘雕刻者’的所有工作都不见了
No. All The Carver’s work is gone.

415
00:18:54,980 –> 00:18:56,860
‘魔笛手’是一种基于云的压缩
Pied Piper is a cloud based compression.

416
00:18:56,860 –> 00:18:58,780
没有了云 就什么都不是了
Without the cloud, nothing’s left.

417
00:18:58,780 –> 00:19:01,370
先生们 这也许是’魔笛手’的最后十分钟了
Gentlemen, this is likely the last ten minutes of Pied Piper,

418
00:19:01,370 –> 00:19:02,970
好好享受吧
so let’s enjoy it.

419
00:19:03,370 –> 00:19:05,250
-他疯了吗 -他一定是疯了

  • Has he lost his mind? - He’s lost his fucking mind.

420
00:19:05,250 –> 00:19:07,970
大家好…大家好
Hello… Hello. Hello.

421
00:19:09,320 –> 00:19:13,080
我是…我叫理查德·亨德里克斯
I am… My name is Richard Hendricks, and I am,

422
00:19:13,080 –> 00:19:16,930
我和这个人 这个人 这个人
along with this guy, him, him…

423
00:19:17,130 –> 00:19:21,270
以及还有一个好像不见了的人
…and another guy that has disappeared…

424
00:19:23,990 –> 00:19:26,600
我们是’魔笛手’ 一个压缩算法公司
We are Pied Piper. A compression company.

425
00:19:26,600 –> 00:19:29,010
你们拿到的小册子上写着
Well, you know, in your pamphlets it says that we are

426
00:19:29,010 –> 00:19:31,100
我们是一个基于云端的多平台
a cloud based multi-platform solution

427
00:19:31,100 –> 00:19:33,480
用户导向的压缩方案
for user-focused compression.

428
00:19:33,940 –> 00:19:36,700
在昨天之前我们是这样的
And we were. Until yesterday.

429
00:19:37,150 –> 00:19:38,970
但现在不再是了
But now we are not.

430
00:19:40,950 –> 00:19:43,020
因为 ‘互利’
Uh, because you see, Hooli

431
00:19:43,020 –> 00:19:46,530
做了所有我们想做的 而且远比我们好
did everything that we were tying to do, better, way better.

432
00:19:48,700 –> 00:19:50,610
‘纽核力’建立在
Nucleus is built on the

433
00:19:50,610 –> 00:19:54,110
和我们一样的引擎上 一模一样的引擎
same engine as ours, like exactly the same,

434
00:19:54,120 –> 00:19:58,420
他们的维斯曼评分是2.89 和我们的一样
and their Weissman score was 2.89, same as ours.

435
00:19:58,420 –> 00:19:59,880
但问题是 他们
But the thing is, they built

436
00:19:59,890 –> 00:20:02,390
在这个基础上又建立了许多很棒的东西
a ton of really great stuff up on top of that.

437
00:20:02,390 –> 00:20:06,400
我们无法匹敌 所以我们现在只能做别的了
And we can’t compete, so now we have to be something else.

438
00:20:06,590 –> 00:20:08,630
干的漂亮 ‘互利’
Um… well-played, Hooli.

439
00:20:08,910 –> 00:20:10,500
所以 不管怎么说
Uh, OK, so anyway,

440
00:20:11,180 –> 00:20:14,710
我们都知道 压缩文件最简单的方式
we all know that the most obvious way

441
00:20:15,510 –> 00:20:18,690
是用香农编码 对吧 自顶向下
to compress files is with Shannon coding, right? Top down.

442
00:20:18,910 –> 00:20:21,200
理查德 他们看不清的 太小了
Richard, they can’t see that, it’s too small.

443
00:20:21,870 –> 00:20:23,330
-好吧 -有几百人呢

  • OK. - Literally, hundreds of people here.

444
00:20:23,330 –> 00:20:24,540
不 但我需要…
Oh, no, but I need…

445
00:20:26,420 –> 00:20:27,640
妈的 好吧
Shit, OK.

446
00:20:27,900 –> 00:20:30,710

Um… right, oh.

447
00:20:30,010 –> 00:20:37,370
{\an8}香农 霍夫曼

448
00:20:31,140 –> 00:20:35,230
这是香农编码 然后大卫·霍夫曼出现了
Uh, so Shannon coding and then David Huffman came along,

449
00:20:35,230 –> 00:20:36,770
他开创了自底向上编码
and he pioneered bottom up,

450
00:20:36,840 –> 00:20:39,940
然后是从左至右编码的LZ算法
and Lempel-Ziv with left to right, obviously.

451
00:20:39,940 –> 00:20:42,870
数十年来我们都用这些编码来压缩文件
And for decades, we used these codes to compress,

452
00:20:42,870 –> 00:20:46,800
不管是JPEG MPEG MP3还是zip文件
you know, JPEGs, MPEGs, MP3s, zips, all that stuff.

453
00:20:47,020 –> 00:20:50,390
但这些我们都很了解 不用再讲这个了
But we all know that, so there’s no point in talking about it.

454
00:20:51,470 –> 00:20:54,110
但昨天晚上
But what happened was, last night

455
00:20:54,560 –> 00:20:57,780
我听到我的朋友们一直在争论
I was watching my friends here have this argument.

456
00:20:57,830 –> 00:21:01,280
关于 “数据控制”
About, you know, manipulating… data…

457
00:21:02,020 –> 00:21:04,440
然后说到 一个人可以同时
and, you know, how many datas

458
00:21:04,460 –> 00:21:07,850
控制多少数据
could one guy manipulate at once and, uh…

459
00:21:10,200 –> 00:21:11,850
然后我就想到
and I was just… I was thinking.

460
00:21:12,160 –> 00:21:13,640
说不定还有别的方法
Maybe it could be another way, you know?

461
00:21:13,640 –> 00:21:15,910
我想到了一种算法 叫做”发散法”
Something that I would call, “Middle out”.

462
00:21:16,550 –> 00:21:18,290
自底向上和向下 由左及右再返回
It’s up and down, back and forth

463
00:21:18,290 –> 00:21:20,810
所有这些都同时进行
all at the same time going on at once.

464
00:21:21,890 –> 00:21:25,170
总之 我昨晚删掉了我们所有的模块
OK, well, anyway, I deleted all our modules last night,

465
00:21:25,170 –> 00:21:28,290
完全重建了我们的引擎 一切从零开始
and I completely rebuilt our engine, from scratch last night.

466
00:21:28,100 –> 00:21:30,550
{\an8}文件 压缩引擎

467
00:21:29,780 –> 00:21:33,770
今天早上 我的时间只够完成一个测试
Now, this morning I really only had enough time to do one test,

468
00:21:33,770 –> 00:21:34,930
但我测试时
and when I did,

469
00:21:34,940 –> 00:21:39,490
我们的维斯曼评分是3.8
we hit a Weissman score of 3.8.

470
00:21:39,880 –> 00:21:41,510
{\an8}维斯曼评分

471
00:21:41,380 –> 00:21:44,850
我知道理论极限值是2.9
Now, I know the theoretical limit was 2.9,

472
00:21:45,000 –> 00:21:46,660
但从这里可以看到
but as you can see here…

473
00:21:46,660 –> 00:21:51,030
抱歉打断下 你的得分是3.8
I’m sorry. You scored a 3.8?

474
00:21:51,450 –> 00:21:52,600
是的 先生
Uh… Yes, sir.

475
00:21:52,600 –> 00:21:55,280
而这是个通用的无损压缩引擎
And this is a universal lossless compression engine?

476
00:21:55,280 –> 00:21:57,380
文本 音频 视频都适用
Text? Audio? Video?

477
00:21:57,380 –> 00:21:58,810
是的 没错
Yes, that is correct.

478
00:21:59,050 –> 00:22:02,670
很抱歉我打断了你这精彩的展示
Well, I’m sorry to interrupt your eloquent presentation, Richard.

479
00:22:02,750 –> 00:22:04,550
但是与其光用嘴说
But, rather than say anything more,

480
00:22:04,550 –> 00:22:05,860
不如我们现场给你个文件
why don’t we just give you a file

481
00:22:05,860 –> 00:22:08,380
测试下你的引擎是否真如你所说的那么好
and we’ll see whether this thing can do what you say it does.

482
00:22:08,380 –> 00:22:09,210
因为如果结果差强人意
Because if it can’t,

483
00:22:09,210 –> 00:22:12,080
比赛就结束了 对吧
then we’re done here, right?

484
00:22:12,160 –> 00:22:13,620
对 好的 挺公平的
Yeah. Yeah, that’s fair.

485
00:22:13,800 –> 00:22:16,080
那我们给你任何格式的文件 你都能做到
So we can give you any kind of file and you can compress it,

486
00:22:16,080 –> 00:22:19,550
无损压缩 还能达到这个分数 3.8吗
without degradation, at this standard? Three-eight?

487
00:22:19,820 –> 00:22:21,080
对 没错
Yes… yep.

488
00:22:21,820 –> 00:22:23,710
好吧 请给我们点时间
All right, give us a minute, please.

489
00:22:25,360 –> 00:22:27,000
-有什么文件吗 -你们有什么文件吗

  • What do we got? - Does anyone have anything?

490
00:22:32,740 –> 00:22:34,670
-你有文件吗 -我有个文件挺合适的

  • Do you have something? - I’ve got a file for him.

491
00:22:35,250 –> 00:22:37,690
安迪·斯塔福有个文件给你
OK. Andy Stafford here has a file for you.

492
00:22:38,060 –> 00:22:40,900
-好的 -这是个132GB的未压缩

  • OK. - It’s a 132 gigabytes un-compressed,

493
00:22:40,900 –> 00:22:42,440
3D视频文件
and it’s a 3D video file.

494
00:22:46,400 –> 00:22:47,280
好的
Ok.

495
00:22:49,620 –> 00:22:50,650
该死
Shit…

496
00:22:51,150 –> 00:22:53,110
-是他妈3D文件 -对

  • A fucking 3D file? - Yes.

497
00:22:53,110 –> 00:22:55,930
-这他妈开玩笑吗 -该死的

  • Are you fucking kidding me? - Goddammit.

498
00:22:56,980 –> 00:22:59,720
-我们能搞定吗 -等下就知道答案了

  • Can we handle this? - I guess we’ll find out.

499
00:23:00,150 –> 00:23:01,270
该死 希望没问题
Damm it, I hope this works.

500
00:23:07,000 –> 00:23:11,560
{\an8}3D立交桥展示
132GB 未压缩

501
00:23:11,620 –> 00:23:12,500
妈的 卡住了
Shit… it’s hung.

502
00:23:13,100 –> 00:23:16,270
{\an8}正在压缩文件

503
00:23:14,090 –> 00:23:15,280
不要啊
Oh, no.

504
00:23:16,740 –> 00:23:18,200
卡住了吗
Is it stuck?

505
00:23:18,370 –> 00:23:20,830
我们有时间限制 你们只剩下两分钟
There is a time limit, you have two minutes remaining.

506
00:23:22,260 –> 00:23:23,420
快啊 快啊 动啊
Come on, come on, come on…

507
00:23:24,370 –> 00:23:27,140
{\an8}压缩文件大小: 24.35GB

508
00:23:27,980 –> 00:23:28,910
看来压缩完毕了
It looks like it’s done.

509
00:23:29,800 –> 00:23:31,950
等下 24GB 怎么回事
Wait, 24 gigs? What happened?

510
00:23:32,050 –> 00:23:34,640
妈的 这不可能
Oh… shit, there’s no way.

511
00:23:35,380 –> 00:23:36,470
它肯定只压缩了其中一部分
It didn’t compress the whole thing.

512
00:23:36,470 –> 00:23:38,050
压缩完应该是它的两倍
It should be twice that size.

513
00:23:38,180 –> 00:23:41,470
24GB 比原文件的四分之一还要小
I mean, 24 gigs, that’s less than a fourth the file size.

514
00:23:41,690 –> 00:23:43,590
这结果看起来很可疑啊 理查德
That seems dubious, Richard.

515
00:23:43,650 –> 00:23:44,860
不如我们直接做个维斯曼测试来确认下
Why don’t we run a Weissman test for verification,

516
00:23:44,860 –> 00:23:47,220
看哪里出错了
see where we went wrong.

517
00:23:47,490 –> 00:23:48,990
好吧 应该很快就能测试完
OK, I mean it shouldn’t take too long,

518
00:23:48,990 –> 00:23:50,630
它只压缩了半个这破文件
it only compressed half the fucking file.

519
00:23:56,820 –> 00:23:59,050
我很抱歉 我不应该重写整个程序
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have rewritten all this code.

520
00:23:59,050 –> 00:24:00,820
之前的程序起码不会出错
I mean, what we had before worked.

521
00:24:00,820 –> 00:24:04,350
抱歉 伙计们 盖文赢了 我们输了
I’m sorry, guys. Gavin won. We lost.

522
00:24:04,350 –> 00:24:05,640
至少我们不至于像这样
At least it didn’t happen

523
00:24:05,640 –> 00:24:08,970
在众目睽睽之下输的这么彻底
in a public and brutally embarrassing way.

524
00:24:10,210 –> 00:24:12,030
-多谢你安慰 吉尔弗约尔 -不谢

  • Thanks, Gilfoyle. - Yeah.

525
00:24:16,460 –> 00:24:18,830
等下 这是怎么回事
Wait a second. What’s happening?

526
00:24:17,240 –> 00:24:20,990
{\an8}完整性
空间域错误

527
00:24:19,030 –> 00:24:20,170
没有出错 你们看
There’s no errors, look!

528
00:24:22,890 –> 00:24:25,590
{\an8}测试评分
5.2

529
00:24:26,030 –> 00:24:28,400
5.2 怎么会 怎么
Five-point-two? How, how…?

530
00:24:28,400 –> 00:24:29,080
等下 什么
Wait, what?

531
00:24:29,090 –> 00:24:31,100
等下 它压缩了整个文件吗
Wait, it compressed the whole file?

532
00:24:31,800 –> 00:24:33,130
是整个文件
That’s the whole file.

533
00:24:33,170 –> 00:24:35,350
压缩文件大小只有我预想的一半
It’s just half the size I thought it would be.

534
00:24:36,190 –> 00:24:37,300
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,

535
00:24:37,470 –> 00:24:40,150
我们会继续对这个结果进行核实
obviously we’re going to keep looking at this to verify,

536
00:24:40,150 –> 00:24:42,230
但如果这5.2分最终得到确认
but with a confirmed score of 5.2,

537
00:24:39,110 –> 00:24:41,540
{\an8}测试评分
5.2

538
00:24:42,680 –> 00:24:44,840
‘魔笛手’刚刚取得的分数
Pied Piper appears to have just doubled

539
00:24:44,840 –> 00:24:46,940
将有史以来最高的维斯曼评分翻了一倍
the best Weissman score ever measured.

540
00:24:46,940 –> 00:24:47,820
整整一倍
Doubled it!

541
00:24:48,110 –> 00:24:49,710
‘魔笛手’ 女士们先生们
Pied Piper, ladies and gentlemen!

542
00:24:49,810 –> 00:24:51,310
用掌声恭喜他们
Let’s hear it for them!

543
00:24:53,440 –> 00:24:54,740
我操
Holy shit!

544
00:24:55,240 –> 00:24:57,090
我在参加’科技博客’创业展会
Hey, I’m at TechCrunch.

545
00:24:57,470 –> 00:24:58,850
有个叫亨德里克斯的孩子和他的’魔笛手’
This kid Hendricks and Pied Piper

546
00:24:58,850 –> 00:25:00,420
创造了一个奇迹
just ran a two minute mile.

547
00:25:00,440 –> 00:25:01,800
我们得马上找他们合作
We should get on this, now.

548
00:25:02,450 –> 00:25:04,100
去死吧 盖文·贝尔森
Suck it, Gavin Belson!

549
00:25:07,360 –> 00:25:08,980
亨德里克斯 你这个混蛋真可爱
Hendricks, you beautiful bastard!

550
00:25:08,990 –> 00:25:10,550
我就说过我们会成功的 过来
I told you we’d do it! Come on!

551
00:25:11,590 –> 00:25:13,300
我们要脱贫了
We’re not going to be poor!

552
00:25:14,200 –> 00:25:16,340
怎么了 怎么了 怎么样了
What happened? What happened? What happened?

553
00:25:16,340 –> 00:25:17,940
我们刚刚赢了比赛
Uh, we just won the cup!

554
00:25:21,430 –> 00:25:23,290
我想这是所有人意料之中的结果
And I don’t think it comes as any shock

555
00:25:23,290 –> 00:25:27,750
今年’科技博客’创业展会的冠军和五万美元奖金
that the winner of this year’s Disrupt Cup and $50,000,

556
00:25:27,750 –> 00:25:29,050
虽然他们肯定不会缺这点钱了
like they’re going to need it,

557
00:25:29,050 –> 00:25:31,670
都属于’魔笛手’
is Pied Piper.

558
00:25:33,890 –> 00:25:35,530
是理查德写的程序
So Richard wrote the code?

559
00:25:35,530 –> 00:25:37,250
是理查德写的程序
Richard wrote the code, yes,

560
00:25:37,250 –> 00:25:39,550
但他的灵感却源自他处
but the inspiration was clear.

561
00:25:39,850 –> 00:25:40,820
我问你个问题
Let me ask you something.

562
00:25:40,960 –> 00:25:42,680
你觉得帮这屋里所有人
How fast do you think you could

563
00:25:42,680 –> 00:25:44,390
打飞机需要多长时间
jack off every guy in this room?

564
00:25:45,580 –> 00:25:47,220
我可知道自己会花多久
‘Cause I know how long it would take me.

565
00:25:47,830 –> 00:25:48,840
而且我能证明这一点
And I can prove it.

566
00:25:49,130 –> 00:25:50,670
-很不错 -谢谢你

  • Nice. - Thank you so much.

567
00:25:50,670 –> 00:25:51,760
我并不完全明白
I don’t fully understand it

568
00:25:51,760 –> 00:25:53,510
但我很愿意为你投资
but I would definitely like to invest.

569
00:25:53,540 –> 00:25:54,980
-好极了 -真是令人印象深刻

  • Oh, great. - Really impressed.

570
00:25:54,980 –> 00:25:56,400
我愿意将你介绍给我的合伙人
I really want to get you in front of my partners.

571
00:25:56,480 –> 00:25:58,300
-越快越好 -真的很感谢 伙计们

  • Really soon. - Oh wow. I appreciate that, guys.

572
00:25:58,300 –> 00:26:00,270
希望我们很快能有机会详谈
Well, hopefully we’ll talk to each other soon.

573
00:26:00,270 –> 00:26:01,200
-谢谢 -多谢

  • Thanks. - Thanks.

574
00:26:02,360 –> 00:26:03,700
莫妮卡
Monica!

575
00:26:03,750 –> 00:26:06,770
恭喜你 你在台上的表现非常棒
Congratulations! You were amazing up there.

576
00:26:06,770 –> 00:26:08,540
-谢谢 -我刚跟彼得打过电话

  • Thank you. - I just spoke with Peter.

577
00:26:08,690 –> 00:26:10,390
他通过卫星看了网络直播
He watched the live-stream via satellite

578
00:26:10,390 –> 00:26:12,950
他说他”没有不高兴”
and said he was “Not unpleased”.

579
00:26:12,950 –> 00:26:14,190
是嘛 太好了
Oh, yeah, that’s great.

580
00:26:15,760 –> 00:26:18,200
看来我们可以继续合作了
So I guess we’re back to working together, huh?

581
00:26:19,070 –> 00:26:21,390
是啊 看来是的
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

582
00:26:24,920 –> 00:26:27,050
之后一切的发展会远超你的预期 理查德
It’s gonna get pretty insane for you, Richard.

583
00:26:27,050 –> 00:26:29,340
-是啊 -你将得到的投资

  • Yeah. - You’re going to have more offers of funding

584
00:26:29,340 –> 00:26:30,970
-会远超你的需要 -是啊

  • than you’re going to know what to do with. - Yeah.

585
00:26:31,050 –> 00:26:32,550
你得开始扩张生意
You’re going to have to grow a business,

586
00:26:32,550 –> 00:26:35,440
雇员工 租办公室 找助理
hire a staff, rent offices, get an assistant.

587
00:26:35,500 –> 00:26:36,890
彼得会对你进行更多的指导
Peter is going to be a lot more hands on

588
00:26:36,890 –> 00:26:38,700
对你的要求更加严格
and a lot tougher on you.

589
00:26:38,850 –> 00:26:40,590
会有人窃取你的点子
People may take credit for your idea

590
00:26:40,590 –> 00:26:41,950
并想要起诉你
and try and sue you.

591
00:26:42,130 –> 00:26:45,210
-多神奇啊 -是啊 确实很神奇

  • How awesome is that? - Uh… yeah, that’s awesome.

592
00:26:45,210 –> 00:26:47,380
如果你觉得走到这一步很疯狂的话
I mean, if you thought it was crazy getting to this point,

593
00:26:47,380 –> 00:26:49,430
你绝对无法想象这之后事态会如何发展
you’re not going to believe what it turns into from here.

594
00:26:49,430 –> 00:26:51,460
-是啊 -我是说很快你就要管理

  • Right. - I mean pretty soon, you could be managing

595
00:26:51,460 –> 00:26:54,090
上千名发自内心敬佩你的员工了
thousands of employees who are all looking up to you.

596
00:26:54,760 –> 00:26:57,390
盖文·贝尔森 他还会继续碍事的
Gavin Belson, he’s not going away anytime soon.

597
00:26:57,390 –> 00:26:59,040
但绝对会激动人心
But it’s going to be amazing.

598
00:27:00,250 –> 00:27:01,380
我先失陪下
Excuse me a second.

599
00:27:12,570 –> 00:27:13,990
天啊
Oh, Jesus.

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