silicon.valley.s01e03

5
00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:04,900
{\an5}{\pos(240,242)}本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译
禁止用作任何商业盈利行为

6
00:00:05,940 –> 00:00:07,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
Nerdy嘻嘻

7
00:00:07,660 –> 00:00:09,510
长久以来 我们一直以大小
The greatness of human accomplishment

8
00:00:07,940 –> 00:00:10,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
吃货丁小七

9
00:00:09,510 –> 00:00:11,760
来衡量人类的伟大成就
has always been measured by size.

10
00:00:10,940 –> 00:00:13,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
机械章鱼X

11
00:00:11,760 –> 00:00:13,530
越大就越好
The bigger, the better.

12
00:00:13,840 –> 00:00:15,130
现在不是了
Until now.

13
00:00:13,940 –> 00:00:16,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
七七

14
00:00:15,450 –> 00:00:16,740
纳米科技
Nanotech.

15
00:00:16,800 –> 00:00:18,040
小型轿车
Smart cars.

16
00:00:16,940 –> 00:00:19,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
抹茶咖啡

17
00:00:18,240 –> 00:00:20,230
袖珍是新时代的伟大
Small is the new big.

18
00:00:19,940 –> 00:00:22,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
王大可

19
00:00:22,940 –> 00:00:25,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
桑极客德

20
00:00:23,040 –> 00:00:26,160
未来几周内 互利将推出’纽核力’
In the coming months, Hooli will deliver Nucleus,

21
00:00:25,940 –> 00:00:28,940
{\pos(330,220)}翻译
二川

22
00:00:26,160 –> 00:00:29,000
有史以来最尖端的
the most sophisticated compression software platform

23
00:00:29,000 –> 00:00:30,510
软件压缩平台
the world has ever seen.

24
00:00:30,510 –> 00:00:34,440
如果我们能压缩你的音频和视频
Because if we can make your audio and video files smaller,

25
00:00:34,890 –> 00:00:37,220
我们就能让癌症不值一提
we can make cancer smaller.

26
00:00:37,620 –> 00:00:38,710
还有饥饿
And hunger.

27
00:00:39,150 –> 00:00:40,390
以及艾滋
And AIDS.

28
00:00:40,580 –> 00:00:41,980
真是个混蛋
What an asshole.

29
00:00:41,570 –> 00:00:44,310
{\an8}{\an8}TechCrunch视频
[美国著名IT博客]

30
00:00:42,310 –> 00:00:45,580
离正式发布还早着呢 他怎么现在就宣布了
Why would he announce it so far ahead of the actual rollout?

31
00:00:44,310 –> 00:00:47,310
{\pos(330,220)}时间轴
sOF

32
00:00:45,580 –> 00:00:46,610
没人这样
No one does that.

33
00:00:46,610 –> 00:00:48,850
他要故意整我们是不是
He’s got to be doing it just to fuck with us, right?

34
00:00:47,310 –> 00:00:50,310
{\pos(330,220)}时间轴
安安

35
00:00:48,850 –> 00:00:50,080
我觉得我们没事
I actually think we’re OK.

36
00:00:50,080 –> 00:00:52,080
我只给了他们老版播放器
The player I gave them was from a retired repository

37
00:00:52,080 –> 00:00:53,410
只能压缩音频
that was audio only.

38
00:00:53,420 –> 00:00:55,310
视频压缩完全是另一个模式
Video compression is a completely different paradigm.

39
00:00:55,310 –> 00:00:58,400
跟’魔笛手’很像 但远没我们的好
What they have is like Pied Piper, but not as good.

40
00:00:58,400 –> 00:00:59,020
大家会明白的
People will see that.

41
00:00:59,020 –> 00:01:01,220
他们先上市的话就没戏了
Not if they get to market before us.

42
00:00:59,280 –> 00:01:02,280
{\pos(330,220)}校对
面条打包子

43
00:01:01,220 –> 00:01:03,600
只要能先上市 劣质产品也能赢得市场
Inferior products win out all the time.

44
00:01:02,280 –> 00:01:05,280
{\pos(330,220)}校对
王小麦

45
00:01:03,600 –> 00:01:06,190
比如耶稣就战胜了撒旦
Like Jesus over Satan.

46
00:01:06,660 –> 00:01:08,860
我本来想说Betamax惨败给VHS的
I was going to say VHS over Beta.

47
00:01:06,660 –> 00:01:08,860
{\an8}[视频录制格式大战]

48
00:01:08,860 –> 00:01:12,120
我这里可有优质产品
OK, well, actually this is a superior product, right here.

49
00:01:12,520 –> 00:01:14,140
做玛格丽特酒的机器吗
Is it a margarita machine?

50
00:01:14,140 –> 00:01:15,270
比那还好
It’s better.

51
00:01:16,200 –> 00:01:19,970
作为首席执行官 这是我做的第一笔正式投资
My first official purchase as CEO of Pied Piper.

52
00:01:20,230 –> 00:01:22,140
我们不会就用这个做标志吧
That’s not really our logo is it?

53
00:01:22,140 –> 00:01:24,370
看起来就像他在吃鸡鸡
It looks like a guy sucking a dick

54
00:01:24,370 –> 00:01:27,050
还在耳朵后面别了个鸡鸡以备后用
and he’s got another dick tucked behind his ear for later.

55
00:01:27,050 –> 00:01:30,170
-就像鸡鸡枪 -不是 这是’魔笛手’

  • Like a snack dick. It does. - No, it’s… it’s Pied Pipe…

56
00:01:30,170 –> 00:01:31,340
拿着 穿上
Here, put them on.

57
00:01:31,340 –> 00:01:32,920
吉尔弗约尔 穿上
Gilfoyle, come on.

58
00:01:33,050 –> 00:01:34,150
我不穿
I don’t want it.

59
00:01:34,150 –> 00:01:37,740
贾里德 我用信用卡买的T恤
Jared, I bought these T-shirts with my credit card

60
00:01:37,740 –> 00:01:39,930
但我好像快超支了 所以…
but I think I’m close to being maxed out, so…

61
00:01:39,930 –> 00:01:42,580
我们可能有点问题
Yeah, um, we may have a little problem there.

62
00:01:43,050 –> 00:01:45,070
彼得·格里高利的支票 怎么了
Peter Gregory’s check. So?

63
00:01:45,070 –> 00:01:47,440
支票是付给’魔笛手股份有限公司’的
So, it’s made out to “Pied Piper Incorporated,”

64
00:01:47,440 –> 00:01:49,340
我上州政府网站查过了
I checked with the Secretary of State website,

65
00:01:49,340 –> 00:01:52,640
加利福尼亚州已经有一家叫’魔笛手’的公司了
and there’s already a “Pied Piper” operating in California.

66
00:01:52,640 –> 00:01:54,900
所以我们得换个名字
So we need to change our name.

67
00:01:54,910 –> 00:01:57,640
-感谢老天 -感谢黑魔王 真是好消息

  • Thank God! - Praise the Dark Lord, that’s great news.

68
00:01:57,640 –> 00:02:00,160
这不是好消息 我们喜欢叫’魔笛手’
No, it’s not great news. We love the name Pied Piper.

69
00:02:00,160 –> 00:02:01,740
是个经典的童话的名字
It’s a classic fairy tale.

70
00:02:01,740 –> 00:02:02,700
我去查了下
Well, I looked it up.

71
00:02:02,700 –> 00:02:04,420
讲的是个掠夺成性的魔笛手
It’s about a predatory flautist

72
00:02:04,420 –> 00:02:06,040
把全村的孩子都带进山洞里杀了
who murders children in a cave.

73
00:02:06,040 –> 00:02:09,020
故事不错 理查德 但我还是讨厌这个名字
It has all of that going for it, Richard, and I still hate it.

74
00:02:09,020 –> 00:02:11,140
理查德 我们要换名的话
Richard, if we are going to change the name,

75
00:02:11,140 –> 00:02:12,400
必须赶紧换
we need to do it now.

76
00:02:12,400 –> 00:02:14,650
叫出去就没法改了 我的名字贾里德
Names stick. My name’s only Jared

77
00:02:14,650 –> 00:02:17,020
是上班第一天盖文随口叫的
because Gavin called me that on my first day.

78
00:02:17,030 –> 00:02:18,210
其实我叫唐纳德
My real name is Donald.

79
00:02:18,210 –> 00:02:21,420
但贾里德 我们都做好T恤了
But, Jared, we already bought the T-shirts.

80
00:02:21,460 –> 00:02:23,660
退不回去了 这些是网购的
I can’t take these back. It was an online order.

81
00:02:23,660 –> 00:02:25,090
那东西好恐怖
What is that atrocity?

82
00:02:25,090 –> 00:02:27,430
怎么 难道我们是家爱尔兰色情公司吗
What are we, an Irish pornography company?

83
00:02:25,090 –> 00:02:27,430
{\an8}绿色是爱尔兰代表色

84
00:02:27,550 –> 00:02:29,830
我一直以为我们会改名的
I thought we were gonna replace the name “Pied Piper.”

85
00:02:29,830 –> 00:02:31,340
我以为’魔笛手’不过是临时名
I thought it was a place holder.

86
00:02:31,340 –> 00:02:35,020
叫’临时名’都比叫’魔笛手’好
“Placeholder” would honestly be a better name than Pied Piper.

87
00:02:35,090 –> 00:02:36,530
理查德 其实我一直都没好意思
Richard, I’ve actually been holding off

88
00:02:36,530 –> 00:02:39,630
跟别人说我是’魔笛手’的联合创始人
telling people I’m the co-founder of “Pied Piper”

89
00:02:39,630 –> 00:02:40,440
说实话
Because frankly,

90
00:02:40,440 –> 00:02:41,930
这名字太丢人了
it’s a little embarrassing.

91
00:02:42,530 –> 00:02:44,940
我就是提醒你下
OK Well, um, just to remind you,

92
00:02:44,950 –> 00:02:47,540
你不是联合创始人
you are not the co-founder.

93
00:02:47,540 –> 00:02:49,540
所以别这么跟别人说
So please don’t tell anyone.

94
00:02:49,540 –> 00:02:51,130
理查德 用’Aviator’吧
Richard, take Aviato.

95
00:02:51,130 –> 00:02:52,910
这名字可不是我想出来的
That’s not a name I found,

96
00:02:52,910 –> 00:02:54,410
是幻象探索时
it’s a name that found me

97
00:02:54,410 –> 00:02:55,930
老天赏我的
on a vision quest.

98
00:02:55,930 –> 00:02:57,390
这种事本来应该你来做
Something that you should do.

99
00:02:57,390 –> 00:02:59,100
不 我才不会磕一堆药
No, no. I’m not gonna eat a bunch of drugs

100
00:02:59,100 –> 00:03:00,070
坐在沙漠里头
and sit out in the desert,

101
00:03:00,070 –> 00:03:02,620
等着某个名字随机冒出脑海
and hope some name randomly pops in my head.

102
00:03:02,620 –> 00:03:04,390
那我就要质疑你的领导力了
Well, then I question your leadership.

103
00:03:04,390 –> 00:03:07,140
理查德 名字定义公司
Richard, a name defines a company.

104
00:03:07,140 –> 00:03:09,800
这必须是一种原生态的
It has to be something primal,

105
00:03:09,800 –> 00:03:12,710
一个你做爱时可以喊出口的词
something that you can scream out during intercourse.

106
00:03:13,160 –> 00:03:14,590
比如’Aviator’
Like Aviator.

107
00:03:13,160 –> 00:03:14,590
{\an8}[Aviator 白帽子实验室研发的号称史上最安全的浏览器]

108
00:03:15,600 –> 00:03:17,340
‘Uuuuber’
Uuuuber!

109
00:03:15,600 –> 00:03:17,340
{\an8}[Uber 美国著名打车软件]

110
00:03:18,560 –> 00:03:21,150
‘谷歌’
Gooooogle!

111
00:03:21,150 –> 00:03:23,090
‘Huuuuuulu’
Huuuuuulu!

112
00:03:21,150 –> 00:03:23,090
{\an8}[Hulu 美国一家视频网站]

113
00:03:23,100 –> 00:03:26,360
完全没错 ‘魔笛手’
Exactly, right. Pied Piper!

114
00:03:30,880 –> 00:03:33,980
真不好意思 你的声音听起来
I’m so sorry. Your voice doesn’t really reach

115
00:03:33,980 –> 00:03:36,300
完全没达到你射的时候那种程度
that register when you ejaculate, does it?

116
00:03:36,300 –> 00:03:39,250
不是 我看你们都在嚎所以我也插个嘴
No, it’s just, everyone was doing it, I was just chiming in.

121
00:03:43,660 –> 00:03:47,210
{\pos(52,64)}原创翻译 双语字幕

122
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an6}第

123
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an6}一

124
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an6}季

125
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an6}第

126
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an6}三

127
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an6}集

128
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an4}{\pos(234.6,240)}硅

129
00:03:50,710 –> 00:03:53,670
{\an4}{\pos(275.4,224.8)}谷

130
00:03:53,670 –> 00:03:56,670
{\pos(50,220)}视效&后期
冰冰爱尖尖

131
00:03:54,770 –> 00:03:56,840
各位 我们不能改名字
You guys, we can’t change our name.

132
00:03:56,670 –> 00:03:59,670
{\pos(50,220)}总监
面条打包子

133
00:03:56,840 –> 00:03:59,320
我不能带着新名字去见彼得·格里高利
I can’t go into Peter Gregory’s office with a new name,

134
00:03:59,320 –> 00:04:00,910
让他再写一张支票给我
and ask him to cut me a new check.

135
00:04:00,910 –> 00:04:03,680
他曾经因为更小的事撤回过投资
I mean, he’s pulled funding from companies for a lot less.

136
00:04:03,680 –> 00:04:05,790
‘魔笛手’这个名字和商标
Uh, the Pied Piper name and trademark

137
00:04:05,790 –> 00:04:08,470
被吉尔罗伊一间洒水车公司注册了
are registered to a sprinkler company in Gilroy.

138
00:04:08,470 –> 00:04:10,710
我觉得你可以过去跟他们谈一下
I guess you could head out there and talk to them.

139
00:04:10,710 –> 00:04:11,920
-不过 -好

  • But… - OK.

140
00:04:11,920 –> 00:04:12,630
他们可能会拒绝
They may refuse…

141
00:04:12,630 –> 00:04:14,180
不 不 我去跟他们谈判
No, no, no. I’ll negotiate with them.

142
00:04:14,180 –> 00:04:16,590
无意冒犯 理查德 可你不擅长谈判
No offense, Richard, but you’re not a strong negotiator.

143
00:04:16,590 –> 00:04:18,010
我可是谈判专家 迪尼希
I’m a great negotiator, Dinesh.

144
00:04:18,010 –> 00:04:19,430
你是谈判”砖”家
You’re a terrible negotiator.

145
00:04:19,440 –> 00:04:21,770
我绝对是谈判”专”家
I’m a decent negotiator.

146
00:04:22,290 –> 00:04:23,720
只不过
Just, so…

147
00:04:26,030 –> 00:04:27,970
彼得 你回来了
Oh, Peter, you’re here.

148
00:04:28,400 –> 00:04:29,880
我们原定于四十分钟前
We were supposed to meet 40 minutes ago

149
00:04:29,880 –> 00:04:31,540
跟’星辰’公司的人见面
with the guys from Astraphile

150
00:04:31,550 –> 00:04:33,830
探讨有关紧急注资的事情
about the emergency capital injection.

151
00:04:34,090 –> 00:04:35,300
正如之前我们说过的
As we discussed,

152
00:04:35,300 –> 00:04:37,830
我们在北卡罗莱纳州的工厂出了意外
our North Carolina plant went sideways.

153
00:04:37,830 –> 00:04:40,400
我们要是不能马上拿到一千五百万美元
So we need 15 million now

154
00:04:40,400 –> 00:04:42,490
就只能关门大吉了
or we’ll have to shut down.

155
00:04:44,810 –> 00:04:48,840
你们中有人吃过’汉堡王’吗
Have any of you ever eaten at “Burger King”?

156
00:04:51,190 –> 00:04:52,200
吃过
Yes…

157
00:04:53,150 –> 00:04:54,120
怎么了
Why?

158
00:04:54,120 –> 00:04:57,820
我刚刚开车经过了一间
Well, I was just driven past one.

159
00:04:58,310 –> 00:05:01,980
尽管我知道他们市值有七十多亿美元
And while I know their market cap is seven billion dollars-plus,

160
00:05:01,980 –> 00:05:05,730
我意识到我并不熟悉他们的产品
I realize I am unfamiliar with their offerings.

161
00:05:04,860 –> 00:06:04,860
{\an7}人人影视
YYeTs.com

163
00:05:05,730 –> 00:05:07,190
好吧
OK, fine.

164
00:05:07,330 –> 00:05:08,120
可是那个跟这个有什么关系
But what does that have to do…

165
00:05:08,120 –> 00:05:11,640
你们喜欢吃这个吗
Is it popular among your peers?

166
00:05:11,750 –> 00:05:14,310
你们觉得好吃吗
Is it enjoyed?

167
00:05:14,760 –> 00:05:16,730
-大家应该挺喜欢的 -还不错

  • People seem to like it. - Yeah, it’s OK.

168
00:05:16,730 –> 00:05:20,130
他们只卖汉堡包
And their selection consists solely of these burgers,

169
00:05:20,130 –> 00:05:23,410
并且还是个中王者吗
of which they are presumably king?

170
00:05:24,360 –> 00:05:27,300
他们还卖别的 鸡肉 鱼
They have other things. Chicken, fish.

171
00:05:27,300 –> 00:05:29,580
不好意思 现在到底什么情况
I’m sorry. What are we doing here?

172
00:05:30,720 –> 00:05:32,110
我们现在要做的是
Here is what we will do.

173
00:05:32,110 –> 00:05:34,620
莫妮卡 找个助理
Monica, have one of the assistants

174
00:05:34,620 –> 00:05:37,610
去最近的’汉堡王’
go to the nearest Burger King location

175
00:05:37,610 –> 00:05:40,040
把所有的东西各买一份回来
and purchase one of everything.

176
00:05:45,770 –> 00:05:47,880
迪尼希 迪尼希
Hey, Dinesh. Dinesh.

177
00:05:48,080 –> 00:05:49,330
我正在跟银行通话
I’m on the phone with the bank

178
00:05:49,330 –> 00:05:51,660
他们说因为你的签证问题
and they say they need an extra form for your payroll,

179
00:05:51,660 –> 00:05:52,930
给你发工资还需要填一张表
because of your visa?

180
00:05:52,940 –> 00:05:54,520
签证 什么签证
Visa? What visa?

181
00:05:54,520 –> 00:05:55,650
我他妈的是美国公民
I’m a fucking US citizen.

182
00:05:55,650 –> 00:05:58,760
迪尼希·丘格塔伊就在我旁边 他很愤怒
I have Dinesh Chugtai here, and he’s pretty irate because…

183
00:06:00,640 –> 00:06:02,230
这样啊
Oh, I see.

184
00:06:02,990 –> 00:06:05,610
伯特伦·吉尔弗约尔才是外国籍的
Bertram Gilfoyle is the foreign national.

185
00:06:05,970 –> 00:06:07,420
加拿大公民
Citizen of Canada.

186
00:06:07,680 –> 00:06:09,020
谢谢
OK, thank you.

187
00:06:09,930 –> 00:06:11,220
你是加拿大人
You’re Canadian?

188
00:06:12,020 –> 00:06:13,670
所谓”国境”只是一种建筑
Your “Borders” are merely a construct.

189
00:06:13,670 –> 00:06:16,480
我更倾向于认为自己是世界公民
I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world.

190
00:06:16,480 –> 00:06:17,740
你介意把表传给他们
Do you mind just sending them the form

191
00:06:17,740 –> 00:06:19,630
证明你是合法居留的吗
so they know you’re here legally?

192
00:06:19,630 –> 00:06:20,770
我介意
Yes, I mind.

193
00:06:21,480 –> 00:06:23,040
我可能不合法
And also I may not be.

194
00:06:23,260 –> 00:06:25,970
要不你把给我的支票换成现金吧
To wit, maybe you could make out my checks to cash?

195
00:06:26,560 –> 00:06:27,710
比特币也行
Or bitcoin.

196
00:06:27,710 –> 00:06:29,990
想不到我和非法移民共事
I didn’t know I was working with an illegal.

197
00:06:30,170 –> 00:06:31,370
真讽刺啊
The irony.

198
00:06:32,800 –> 00:06:34,940
我们也经营圆形喷灌机
Well, sometimes we do center pivot,

199
00:06:34,940 –> 00:06:38,040
但如你所见 我们的主营业务还是管道喷灌
but mainly we do lineal like you see out there.

200
00:06:38,480 –> 00:06:40,880
你刚说你是做什么的来着
What is it your business does again?

201
00:06:41,210 –> 00:06:43,720
似乎跟代数有关
Something to do with algebra?

202
00:06:43,720 –> 00:06:46,230
其实是一种算法
Uh… algorithm, actually.

203
00:06:46,230 –> 00:06:47,860
一种压缩算法
It’s for compression.

204
00:06:48,290 –> 00:06:50,500
我们主要是想…
Ultimately what we’re trying to do is…

205
00:06:52,210 –> 00:06:54,400
你让我想起我儿子来了
You remind me of my son.

206
00:06:54,820 –> 00:06:56,820
他也得了阿斯伯格综合征
He’s got Asperger’s too.

207
00:06:56,010 –> 00:06:58,090
{\an8}俗称天才病 患者多自闭却有奇才

208
00:06:56,980 –> 00:06:58,070
啊不 我没有
Oh, no, I don’t uh…

209
00:06:58,070 –> 00:07:01,220
大概是吃带残留农药的东西吃坏了
Probably all those pesticides they put on the crops.

210
00:07:02,340 –> 00:07:04,110
不管你做什么生意的
Well, whatever it is your business does,

211
00:07:04,110 –> 00:07:05,320
我看都不会妨碍我
I don’t think it’s going to interfere

212
00:07:05,320 –> 00:07:07,640
继续做灌溉生意
with my irrigation company here.

213
00:07:07,800 –> 00:07:11,310
再说我本来也打算转行了
I’m thinking about getting in another line of work anyway.

214
00:07:11,310 –> 00:07:13,630
现在成窝的外地人涌进来
All these foreigners coming over here,

215
00:07:13,630 –> 00:07:14,960
强占肥沃的土地
putting pieces of shit

216
00:07:14,960 –> 00:07:18,360
去盖那边那种破烂玩意
like that all over the good farmland around here.

217
00:07:18,360 –> 00:07:22,380
把人们闲得整天盯着电话发呆
Also people can sit around, stare at their phones all day.

218
00:07:23,740 –> 00:07:27,150
现在都没人对着杂志撸管了
Nobody jerks off to magazines any more.

219
00:07:31,130 –> 00:07:35,610
其实吧 那是一座服务器农场
Uh, well, actually, that is a server farm.

220
00:07:35,610 –> 00:07:37,040
而我们的业务 压缩算法
What we do, compression,

221
00:07:37,040 –> 00:07:38,140
正好能减少这类农场
would mean fewer of those,

222
00:07:38,150 –> 00:07:40,420
因为我们能大大节省存储空间
because we’d save a lot of memory space.

223
00:07:40,910 –> 00:07:42,370
-是吗 -当然

  • Really? - Yeah.

224
00:07:42,370 –> 00:07:44,570
那我举双手赞同 真的
Well, I’m all for that, believe me.

225
00:07:45,330 –> 00:07:46,580
这么着吧
I’ll tell you what.

226
00:07:47,770 –> 00:07:51,940
一千块 我就把名字卖给你
You can have the name for a thousand dollars.

227
00:07:52,050 –> 00:07:53,350
你看如何
How’s that sound?

228
00:07:53,390 –> 00:07:55,060
我非常乐意
Uh, that sounds great!

229
00:07:55,060 –> 00:07:56,470
很好 很好
Yeah, cool.

230
00:08:00,850 –> 00:08:03,910
看来你也犯抽搐的毛病
Oh, tremors, too, huh?

231
00:08:04,910 –> 00:08:06,240
跟我儿子一样一样的
Just like my boy.

232
00:08:14,460 –> 00:08:15,640
这里是埃利希
Go for Erlich.

233
00:08:15,640 –> 00:08:18,600
我是魔笛手之首席执行官理查德·亨德里克斯
This is Richard Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper.

234
00:08:18,600 –> 00:08:20,610
你没听错 你们还说我不会谈判
That’s right. You guys said I was a bad negotiator,

235
00:08:20,610 –> 00:08:22,070
但我搞定了
but I closed it!

236
00:08:22,150 –> 00:08:24,040
名字到手了 诏告天下吧
We got a name. Tell everyone you know.

237
00:08:24,380 –> 00:08:26,250
是吗 好
Oh, all right.

238
00:08:26,860 –> 00:08:28,350
你貌似一点都不吃惊啊
You don’t sound that impressed.

239
00:08:28,500 –> 00:08:29,330
我当然惊奇
No, no, I am.

240
00:08:29,330 –> 00:08:30,740
我只是
I just…

241
00:08:32,290 –> 00:08:35,210
反正都叫魔笛手了 回见
Now we’re Pied Piper. So, later.

242
00:08:38,990 –> 00:08:40,010
就是这台
Here you go.

243
00:08:40,140 –> 00:08:41,900
你肯定酒量非常大是吧
You must drink a lot of margaritas huh?

244
00:08:41,900 –> 00:08:42,890
很快就大了
We will now.

245
00:08:42,890 –> 00:08:44,020
我的创业刚刚拿到投资
I have a startup that just got funded

246
00:08:44,020 –> 00:08:46,530
这是给我的兄弟们狂欢用的礼物
so this is just kind of a gift for my guys to celebrate.

247
00:08:48,940 –> 00:08:49,730
祝你好运吧
Good luck with that.

248
00:08:49,730 –> 00:08:50,420
你用得着好运
You’ll need it too,

249
00:08:50,420 –> 00:08:52,470
-尤其是你被坑得屁滚尿流的时候 -好的

  • when this town kicks you in the balls. - OK.

250
00:08:52,470 –> 00:08:53,890
-我来帮你开门 -多谢

  • Let me get the door for you. - Sure.

251
00:08:53,890 –> 00:08:55,860
我自己也开过三家公司
I had three startups, myself,

252
00:08:55,860 –> 00:08:58,170
但我就是没法让玩风投的那帮白痴
and I couldn’t get those Sand Hill Road morons

253
00:08:58,170 –> 00:08:59,560
投我的公司
to fund any of them.

254
00:08:59,690 –> 00:09:02,700
一帮懦夫 我最后一个创意非常天才
Cowards. My last company was genius.

255
00:09:02,700 –> 00:09:04,590
你在停车场里迷过路吧
Have you ever been lost in a parking lot before?

256
00:09:04,860 –> 00:10:04,860
{\an9}人人影视
YYeTs.com

258
00:09:04,920 –> 00:09:08,490
我的应用就利用现有的车辆定位技术 对吧
What app would do is use existing AVL technology, right?

259
00:09:08,490 –> 00:09:10,400
所以你只需输入车牌号
So you’d type in the VIN number.

260
00:09:10,400 –> 00:09:12,690
而且就算你的车没装定位系统
And if you car didn’t have AVL capabilities

261
00:09:12,690 –> 00:09:13,650
你也可以输入
you would just type in

262
00:09:13,650 –> 00:09:15,590
你具体停车的位置
whatever section of the parking lot you were in,

263
00:09:15,590 –> 00:09:18,220
像P3区 第七区之类的
like P3, or ground seven.

264
00:09:18,540 –> 00:09:19,770
也就是说你这个应用
So you just, you just write down

265
00:09:19,770 –> 00:09:21,380
就是记录你在哪停车的
what section of the parking lot you’re in?

266
00:09:21,430 –> 00:09:22,840
这用得着专门的应用吗
Why do you need an app for that?

267
00:09:22,840 –> 00:09:24,650
这样你才记得住你的停车位啊
So you can remember where you parked.

268
00:09:24,650 –> 00:09:27,870
没错 但你为什么不记在纸上呢
Right, uh, but why don’t you just write it down on a piece of paper?

269
00:09:27,880 –> 00:09:29,910
可以啊 但这个是放在手机上用的
Well, yeah. But this is for your phone.

270
00:09:29,910 –> 00:09:32,950
好吧 就是像记事本那种应用吗
OK, so it’s just sorta like Notepad?

271
00:09:32,990 –> 00:09:35,790
-正是啊 瞧 你就懂了 -我懂了

  • Exactly! See? You get it. - Yeah. I get it.

272
00:09:35,790 –> 00:09:37,700
为什么那帮风投的白痴就是不懂呢
Why can’t all those fucking VCs?

273
00:09:38,220 –> 00:09:39,210
真是懦夫
Pussies, man.

274
00:09:39,210 –> 00:09:40,910
终于啊 谢谢
Oh, there we go, thanks.

275
00:09:53,330 –> 00:09:54,910
这是哪款汉堡
This is which one?

276
00:09:54,910 –> 00:09:56,510
汉堡王双层牛排堡
The BK Double Stacker.

277
00:09:56,840 –> 00:09:58,000
太神奇了
Fascinating…

278
00:09:58,380 –> 00:10:00,890
彼得 我知道
Peter, I know that you are

279
00:10:00,890 –> 00:10:04,560
你在忙于…这个
incredibly busy with… this.

280
00:10:04,920 –> 00:10:07,760
但是我向’星辰’公司承诺过
But I made a personal promise to the Astraphile guys

281
00:10:07,760 –> 00:10:09,850
他们的员工不会
that none of their employees would lose their job,

282
00:10:09,850 –> 00:10:11,690
在今晚失业…
which will happen at midnight to…

283
00:10:11,700 –> 00:10:14,020
看到这个了吗
Do you see this?

284
00:10:14,330 –> 00:10:15,430
小皇堡吗
The Junior Whopper?

285
00:10:15,430 –> 00:10:18,700
不 我指的不是汉堡
No, not the sandwich.

286
00:10:19,440 –> 00:10:23,960
是这个种子状的东西…面包上面的
This seed… atop the breading.

287
00:10:23,960 –> 00:10:25,390
那些是芝麻
Those are sesame seeds.

288
00:10:25,400 –> 00:10:29,900
好多汉堡的面包上都有芝麻
A high number of these breadings have sesame seeds on them.

289
00:10:31,330 –> 00:10:33,520
成千上万个面包
Billions of breadings.

290
00:10:38,120 –> 00:10:39,710
芝麻
Sesame seeds.

291
00:10:40,900 –> 00:10:43,700
他们只生长在特定的微气候中
They only grow in certain microclimates.

292
00:10:44,470 –> 00:10:47,690
彼得 我知道你不希望看到
Peter, I know you don’t want to cause

293
00:10:47,690 –> 00:10:50,750
北卡罗来纳州有173人…
173 people in North Carolina…

294
00:10:52,940 –> 00:10:54,370

Cicadas.

295
00:11:02,190 –> 00:11:03,120
先生们
Gentlemen!

296
00:11:03,720 –> 00:11:06,010
我们的赫布·科恩来了
It’s our own personal Herb Cohen!

297
00:11:06,140 –> 00:11:07,820
-谁 -赫布·科恩

  • Who? - Herb Cohen.

298
00:11:07,940 –> 00:11:11,020
著名谈判家 写了许多教科书
He’s a famous negotiator. Wrote a bunch of textbooks.

299
00:11:11,050 –> 00:11:12,720
-没听说过吗 -什么

  • No? - What?

300
00:11:12,720 –> 00:11:14,130
你看博客了吗
Have you seen the blogs?

301
00:11:14,450 –> 00:11:15,140
没有
No.

302
00:11:15,140 –> 00:11:16,870
埃利希的名字上了各大科技网站
Erlich went HAM on all the tech sites.

303
00:11:16,870 –> 00:11:19,790
包括TechCrunch Recode和PandoDaily[均为科技新闻网站]
He hit TechCrunch, Recode, and PandoDaily.

304
00:11:19,790 –> 00:11:21,420
听听卡拉·斯威舍[科技专栏作家]说的
Listen to what Kara Swisher says:

305
00:11:21,420 –> 00:11:24,750
“就个体而言 埃利希·巴赫曼说 我们已经很强大了’
“‘Individually’, says Erlich Bachman, ‘We are formidable.

306
00:11:24,750 –> 00:11:27,180
但如果把我们组合在一起
But when you combine our portfolios,

307
00:11:27,180 –> 00:11:31,060
彼得·格里高利和我将坐拥百万资产
Peter Gregory and I account for billions of dollars in assets.”

308
00:11:31,060 –> 00:11:34,020
‘魔笛手’期待与盖文·贝尔森
We at Pied Piper look forward to giving Gavin Belson

309
00:11:34,020 –> 00:11:37,280
和那些’纽核力’的笨蛋们一较高下
and the donkeys at Nucleus a run for their money.’”

310
00:11:37,530 –> 00:11:38,850
真是个混蛋
What a dick.

311
00:11:41,160 –> 00:11:42,270
那个用有’魔笛手’名字的人打来的
It’s the guy with the name.

312
00:11:42,780 –> 00:11:44,140
你好 阿诺德
Hello, Arnold.

313
00:11:44,180 –> 00:11:45,500
少废话了
Cut the shit.

314
00:11:45,500 –> 00:11:47,760
我刚去看了Recode网站
I just Recode.Net.

315
00:11:47,760 –> 00:11:48,920
你还看Rocode
You read Recode?

316
00:11:48,920 –> 00:11:50,570
我去看是因为我的客户告诉我
I do when my customers tell me

317
00:11:50,580 –> 00:11:52,850
我公司的名字传遍了互联网
the name of my company’s all over the internet.

318
00:11:52,850 –> 00:11:54,510
但你大概以为我在这个偏僻的地方
But you’d probably think I’m just out here

319
00:11:54,510 –> 00:11:56,760
拉屎还要上旱厕和用手擦吧
shitting in a hole and wiping with my hand.

320
00:11:56,760 –> 00:11:58,580
不 不 不 我没有这么认为
No, no, no, I don’t think you do that.

321
00:11:58,580 –> 00:12:00,520
有人这么认为吗 难道你真的是这样吗
Do people think you do that? Do you do that?

322
00:12:00,520 –> 00:12:01,710
不 不 不
No, no, no!

323
00:12:01,710 –> 00:12:04,530
我不会再被你那套嘴里嘟囔不清
I’m not falling for that phony, mumbley-mouth,

324
00:12:04,530 –> 00:12:06,700
以及瞪大眼睛的把戏所骗了
googly-eyed routine again.

325
00:12:06,700 –> 00:12:08,280
如果你真是拥有高科技的亿万富翁
If you’re this tech billionaire,

326
00:12:08,280 –> 00:12:11,480
我凭什么以几乎白送的价格把这个名字卖给你
why did I give you the name Pied Piper for next to nothing?

327
00:12:11,480 –> 00:12:12,940
你耍了我
You played me.

328
00:12:13,330 –> 00:12:16,520
要想要这个名字 拿出25万美元来
You want the name, it’s going to cost you 250 grand.

329
00:12:16,520 –> 00:12:19,870
我觉得你应该和始作俑者谈谈
OK, I think you just need to talk to the guy who said all that.

330
00:12:19,870 –> 00:12:21,340
他会给你解释清楚的
And he can clear it up for you.

331
00:12:21,340 –> 00:12:23,970
-埃利希呢 -在外面和实习生在一起呢

  • Where’s Erlich? - He’s outside with the intern.

332
00:12:23,970 –> 00:12:26,430
-什么实习生 -你竟然还有实习生

  • What intern? - You got interns?

333
00:12:26,430 –> 00:12:28,910
我们不仅有实习生 我们还有非法移民
We might as well have interns, we hire illegal aliens.

334
00:12:28,910 –> 00:12:32,160
-什么 -不 这些我们都没有

  • What? - No, no. We don’t have either of those things.

335
00:12:32,160 –> 00:12:33,600
我告诉你 混蛋
I’ll tell you what, asshole,

336
00:12:33,600 –> 00:12:35,720
你再敢用’魔笛手’这个名字
you use the name Pied Piper again,

337
00:12:35,720 –> 00:12:36,710
我就叫我的律师
I’m going to call my lawyer

338
00:12:36,710 –> 00:12:38,910
把你告成穷光蛋
and we’re gonna sue the shit out of you.

339
00:12:38,910 –> 00:12:43,480
-去他的亿万富翁 -阿诺德 在吗

  • Fucking billionaires. - Arnold? Arnold, hello?

340
00:12:43,490 –> 00:12:46,290
-听起来不妙啊 -的确

  • That sounded sub-optimal. - Yeah, it was.

341
00:12:46,920 –> 00:12:48,910
贾里德 你知道还有谁也是加拿大人吗
Hey, Jared, you know who else is Canadian?

342
00:12:48,910 –> 00:12:51,630
贾斯汀·比伯 音乐届的希特勒
Justin Bieber, the Hitler of music.

343
00:12:51,630 –> 00:12:53,660
你对于我是加拿大人有意见吗
Do you have a problem with me being Canadian?

344
00:12:53,660 –> 00:12:55,060
没错 我有意见
I do, actually.

345
00:12:55,060 –> 00:12:57,930
你知道我花了多久才成为美国公民的吗
Do you have any idea how long it took me to become a citizen?

346
00:12:58,020 –> 00:12:59,460
你花了很长时间吗
Did it take you a long time?

347
00:12:59,750 –> 00:13:01,230
那我很庆幸我没有为此而浪费时间
I’m glad I didn’t do it then.

348
00:13:01,570 –> 00:13:03,260
典型的移民懒蛋
Typical lazy immigrant.

349
00:13:03,270 –> 00:13:05,680
他们以为可以直接走进这个国家…
These people think they can just walk into this country…

350
00:13:05,680 –> 00:13:07,970
我的确是直接走进来的
I did just walk into this country.

351
00:13:08,120 –> 00:13:10,350
我的车在大使桥上抛锚了
My car broke down on the Ambassador Bridge.

352
00:13:08,120 –> 00:13:10,350
{\an8}[连接美国和加拿大的大桥]

353
00:13:10,350 –> 00:13:12,480
让我多花了15分钟才跨过边境
It took me an extra 15 minutes to get across the border.

354
00:13:12,490 –> 00:13:13,720
真是麻烦
Major hassle.

355
00:13:15,540 –> 00:13:19,200
希特勒其实会吹低音管
You know, Hitler actually played the bassoon.

356
00:13:19,600 –> 00:13:23,470
严格来说 他确实是音乐界的希特勒
So, technically, Hitler was the Hitler of music.

357
00:13:26,050 –> 00:13:27,780
我不明白 我以为你把名字买到手了
I don’t understand. I thought you closed the name.

358
00:13:27,780 –> 00:13:30,330
看来没最终说死 我也不知道
Well, I guess it’s still a little ajar, I don’t know.

359
00:13:30,330 –> 00:13:31,570
我又不是赫布·科恩
Who am I, Herb Cohen?

360
00:13:32,020 –> 00:13:34,140
-我不知道那是谁 -我也不知道

  • I don’t know who that is. - Neither do I.

361
00:13:34,140 –> 00:13:36,520
是贾里德说的
That’s a… that’s a Jared thing.

362
00:13:37,000 –> 00:13:39,970
一定要把前保险杠上面的泥都洗净
Make sure to clean off all the gunk off the front bumper, OK?

363
00:13:39,970 –> 00:13:42,740
我们什么时候有实习生项目了
And since when do we have an intern program?

364
00:13:42,740 –> 00:13:44,890
我们没有 当基思明白这一点时
We don’t. And when Keith finds that out,

365
00:13:44,890 –> 00:13:47,610
这对他将会是一堂很有价值的商业课
it’s gonna be a valuable business lesson for him.

366
00:13:47,610 –> 00:13:49,890
那是我的’魔笛手’T恤
What? Those are the Pied Piper shirts!

367
00:13:49,890 –> 00:13:52,760
-你是理查德吗 -是的

  • Are you Richard? - Yeah. Yes.

368
00:13:53,780 –> 00:13:57,200
是我搞砸了 我们现在该怎么办
OK, look, I fucked up. What do we do now?

369
00:13:57,470 –> 00:13:58,610
“我们”指的是谁
Who’s “We”?

370
00:13:58,620 –> 00:14:00,110
今天早晨你还毫不客气地提醒我
This morning you rudely reminded me

371
00:14:00,110 –> 00:14:01,280
我不是公司的创始人之一
that I wasn’t a founder of this company

372
00:14:01,280 –> 00:14:03,470
现在你想让我牵着你的手和你共渡难关吗
and now you want me to hold your hand and help you out?

373
00:14:03,480 –> 00:14:05,190
我可没这打算 好姐妹
I don’t think so, sister.

374
00:14:04,860 –> 00:15:04,860
{\an7}人人影视
YYeTs.com

376
00:14:05,410 –> 00:14:07,480
这张信用卡不能用
This credit card is no good.

377
00:14:07,750 –> 00:14:08,860
拒绝支付
Declined.

378
00:14:10,210 –> 00:14:11,330
很好 好极了
Great. Great.

379
00:14:11,330 –> 00:14:13,300
那个破鸡尾酒机器把我的卡刷爆了
That stupid margarita machine maxed me out.

380
00:14:13,300 –> 00:14:16,120
现在’魔笛手’的首席执行官连午饭买不起
So now the CEO of Pied Piper can’t even afford to buy lunch.

381
00:14:16,120 –> 00:14:18,370
我觉得我们不能再用那个名字了
Yeah, I don’t think we can use that name anymore.

382
00:14:25,420 –> 00:14:29,010
老兄 老兄 我要向你道歉
Dude! Dude, hey. I owe you a big apology, man.

383
00:14:29,010 –> 00:14:32,400
我之前没认出来你 我看到了网上
I had no idea who you were before and I read all this coverage

384
00:14:32,400 –> 00:14:34,070
关于你公司的报道 才反应过来
about your company online, and I was like,

385
00:14:34,070 –> 00:14:35,730
是’魔笛手’
“Hey, Pied Piper!

386
00:14:35,790 –> 00:14:37,060
我见过这位仁兄 他来过商店
I met this dude! He came into the store

387
00:14:37,060 –> 00:14:40,040
还告诉我 我的停车应用酷毙了
and told me my parking app was fucking awesome!”

388
00:14:40,040 –> 00:14:41,180
我说过吗
I did?

389
00:14:41,180 –> 00:14:43,590
说过 我妈妈说 真的吗
Yeah, so my mom was like, “Wow, really?

390
00:14:43,760 –> 00:14:45,390
那你真该继续开发
You should really pursue it!”

391
00:14:45,390 –> 00:14:47,260
我说到 是啊 我会的
And I was like, “Yeah, I should.”

392
00:14:47,580 –> 00:14:48,720
什么停车应用
The parking app?

393
00:14:48,720 –> 00:14:51,850
所以她决定用房子来申请反向抵押贷款
So she decides to get a reverse mortgage on her home

394
00:14:51,850 –> 00:14:53,080
然后给了我一张支票
and write me a check.

395
00:14:53,340 –> 00:14:55,430
我有资金了
So I’m funded!

396
00:14:55,440 –> 00:14:57,000
都是托你的福啊 老兄
Because of you, man.

397
00:14:57,670 –> 00:14:59,110
我都准备放弃了
I was this close to giving up,

398
00:14:59,180 –> 00:15:00,710
是你帮我把梦想又追了回来 老兄
and now you gave me my dream back, man!

399
00:15:00,710 –> 00:15:02,600
-但是 -罗恩

  • But… - Oh, hey, Ron!

400
00:15:03,130 –> 00:15:06,020
看见这个人了吗 这个亿万富翁
You see this guy? This billionaire here?

401
00:15:06,480 –> 00:15:09,140
就是因为他我才辞职的
He’s the reason why I’m quitting!

402
00:15:10,270 –> 00:15:11,000
杰米 你不必…
Jamie, you don’t…

403
00:15:12,190 –> 00:15:13,930
你帮了我这么多
Well, you’ve helped me so much,

404
00:15:13,990 –> 00:15:16,200
我能为你做些什么
what can I do for you?

405
00:15:17,930 –> 00:15:19,940
我得把这台机器退掉
Well, I need to return this machine

406
00:15:19,950 –> 00:15:22,010
因为我破产了 我需要钱买饭
because I’m broke, and I need money for food.

407
00:15:29,720 –> 00:15:31,350
就一个小问题
Just a quick question.

408
00:15:31,870 –> 00:15:35,020
是退还现金呢
Uh, is this gonna be a cash return,

409
00:15:35,020 –> 00:15:37,120
还是把钱打回卡里
or does it credit back to the card?

410
00:15:39,300 –> 00:15:41,450
‘微程序’ 怎么样
All right, what about Smaller,

411
00:15:41,450 –> 00:15:45,240
拼成”S-M-L-L-R”
spelled “S-M-L-L-R”?

412
00:15:45,240 –> 00:15:47,080
因为我们的目标是让程序更简化
You know, because we make things smaller,

413
00:15:47,080 –> 00:15:50,820
是”微缩程序”这个词的缩小版
and this would be like a smaller version of the word “Smaller”.

414
00:15:50,820 –> 00:15:52,900
-看起来像”体臭”的缩写 -好吧

  • It looks like “Smeller”. - OK.

415
00:15:53,930 –> 00:15:55,150
那如果拼成
What if we spell it…

416
00:15:57,010 –> 00:15:59,940
“S-M-L-R”呢
…”S-M-L-R”?

417
00:16:00,260 –> 00:16:03,700
因为这是”微程序”这个词更缩小的版本
Because that’s an even smaller version of the word smaller.

418
00:16:03,700 –> 00:16:05,270
这样看起来像”傻笑”
Then it looks like “Smiler”.

419
00:16:05,270 –> 00:16:08,640
我们要用’傻笑’来打败’纽核力’
We’re not gonna kick the shit out of “Nucleus” with “Smiler”.

420
00:16:08,830 –> 00:16:10,770
理查德呢 他怎么不在这里想名字
Where’s Richard? Why isn’t he in here for this?

421
00:16:10,770 –> 00:16:11,860
我猜他在外面
I think he was out back,

422
00:16:11,860 –> 00:16:13,650
后悔当初拒绝了千万巨款
wishing he’d taken the ten million dollars.

423
00:16:13,650 –> 00:16:15,700
没有 我看见他在屋里
No, I just saw him in his room,

424
00:16:15,700 –> 00:16:17,920
后悔当初拒绝了千万巨款
wishing he had taken the ten million dollars.

425
00:16:20,480 –> 00:16:21,650
“傻笑”这个词
You know “Smiler” is also

426
00:16:21,650 –> 00:16:24,410
也被某些人用来形容女性肛门
something that guys call women’s assholes.

427
00:16:25,680 –> 00:16:29,140
理查德 你怎么不去外面想新名字
Richard, why aren’t you in there, coming up with new names?

428
00:16:29,270 –> 00:16:32,480
我不想要新名字 我就要’魔笛手’
I don’t want a new name. I want Pied Piper.

429
00:16:32,820 –> 00:16:34,780
但是很显然 我无法拥有它
But, apparently, I can’t have that.

430
00:16:35,010 –> 00:16:36,930
所以现在我必须想出个新名字
So now I have to come up with a new name

431
00:16:37,080 –> 00:16:39,720
然后去找彼得·格里高利要一张新支票
and take that to Peter Gregory and ask for a new check.

432
00:16:39,720 –> 00:16:41,220
然后他会撤资
He’s gonna pull our funding,

433
00:16:41,250 –> 00:16:43,150
我们就会被盖文·贝尔森击垮
Gavin Belson’s going to crush us,

434
00:16:43,160 –> 00:16:44,620
然后我们就毁了
and we will be ruined

435
00:16:44,620 –> 00:16:46,580
因为我不知道自己到底改干嘛
because I have no idea what I’m doing.

436
00:16:46,580 –> 00:16:50,190
扎克伯格19岁运营脸书的时候也不知道
Neither did Zuckerberg when he was running Facebook at 19.

437
00:16:50,290 –> 00:16:54,220
你觉得他当时有实战商业经验吗 没有
You think he had any real-world business experience? No. None.

438
00:16:54,680 –> 00:16:56,370
但他是个很强悍的谈判家
But he was such a tough negotiator

439
00:16:56,370 –> 00:16:58,660
强悍到他所有的朋友都在告他
that now all of his friends are suing him.

440
00:16:58,660 –> 00:17:01,440
那多牛逼啊 还有史蒂夫·乔布斯
How awesome is that? And Steve Jobs?

441
00:17:01,480 –> 00:17:03,810
他嗑了无数吨迷幻剂
He took a shit-ton of hallucinogens.

442
00:17:03,830 –> 00:17:04,720
多巧啊
What a coincidence.

443
00:17:04,720 –> 00:17:06,780
也许你可以试试
Maybe something that you could actually do.

444
00:17:07,330 –> 00:17:09,480
我可不要踏上什么奇幻寻名之旅
I’m not going on some fucking vision quest.

445
00:17:09,480 –> 00:17:10,550
好吧 我帮你理理
OK, let me get this straight,

446
00:17:10,550 –> 00:17:12,420
你宁可什么都不做也不愿尝试做一些事
you would rather do nothing than something?

447
00:17:12,890 –> 00:17:14,450
因为那个屋子里的那帮人
Because all the guys in the other room

448
00:17:14,450 –> 00:17:15,840
尽管想出了一些类似于’小成器’的
coming up with shitty names like,

449
00:17:15,840 –> 00:17:18,340
恶心名字 但他们至少做了些什么
“Smallulator,” are at least doing something.

450
00:17:20,130 –> 00:17:22,720
好吧 我自己来好了
Fine. I’ll just do it myself.

451
00:17:23,130 –> 00:17:25,520
我24到72小时之内回来
I’ll be back in 24 to 72 hours.

452
00:17:25,520 –> 00:17:26,740
在我回来前给我准备好
Have a cold pitcher of water

453
00:17:26,740 –> 00:17:28,530
一大罐冷水 切点橘子
and some orange slices ready for me.

454
00:17:29,380 –> 00:17:31,460
你知道吗 我这次真的要拼上老命了
You know what, I’m really gonna go for this motherfucker

455
00:17:31,460 –> 00:17:33,590
所以你最好能再准备些西柚
so you better have some grapefruit ready, too.

456
00:17:34,340 –> 00:17:35,200
我一定会带回个名字
I’m gonna come back with a name

457
00:17:35,200 –> 00:17:38,530
惊艳到让彼得·格里高利写十张支票给我们
so amazing that Peter Gregory will write us ten checks.

458
00:17:38,920 –> 00:17:41,910
‘小矮子2.0’怎么样
What about, “Dwarfism 2.0”?

459
00:17:41,910 –> 00:17:44,490
‘小矮子1.0’在哪
Where’s “Dwarfism 1.0”?

460
00:17:44,490 –> 00:17:45,700
就在这世界中
Just in the world.

461
00:17:45,850 –> 00:17:47,540
这是歧视
That’s prejudice.

462
00:17:47,540 –> 00:17:49,580
-太伤人了 -对不起

  • That’s hurtful. - I’m sorry.

463
00:17:49,840 –> 00:17:52,460
小个子 快回来 你在吗
Small, come back now, are you here?

464
00:17:53,020 –> 00:17:54,010
有意思
Interesting.

465
00:17:55,890 –> 00:17:58,280
那可不是樱桃冰淇淋
Hey! That is not Cherry Garcia.

466
00:17:58,420 –> 00:18:01,390
对不起 吉尔弗约尔 公司业务
Sorry, Gilfoyle. Company business.

467
00:18:02,940 –> 00:18:06,520
谁藏匿了药物 竟然是这位非法移民
And who’s hiding drugs? Shocker, it’s the illegal immigrant.

468
00:18:14,060 –> 00:18:17,430
‘我小化’怎么样 是’我们’让程序’最小化’
What about Mine-imize, like “Minimize” but “Mine”.

469
00:18:17,570 –> 00:18:18,640
对啊
Yeah.

470
00:18:24,560 –> 00:18:25,810
你好 加里斯先生
Hello, Mr. Garris.

471
00:18:26,580 –> 00:18:28,790
我是理查德 属于那个可以合法
Yes, this is Richard from the company

472
00:18:28,790 –> 00:18:30,660
冠名为’魔笛手’的公司
that is rightly called Pied Piper.

473
00:18:31,650 –> 00:18:32,590
没错
That’s right.

474
00:18:32,960 –> 00:18:37,790
不不 你听我说 我们握手成交了的
No, no, no. You listen to me. OK. We had a handshake deal.

475
00:18:37,990 –> 00:18:39,720
那对你来说也许不算什么
And that may not mean a lot to you,

476
00:18:39,720 –> 00:18:42,450
但于我而言 那意味重大
but where I’m from, that means a whole lot.

477
00:18:42,450 –> 00:18:44,910
你同意以一千美金的价格把名字卖给我
OK, you agreed to sell me that name for a thousand dollars.

478
00:18:44,920 –> 00:18:46,130
那让我问你个问题
So let me ask you this?

479
00:18:46,730 –> 00:18:49,600
你是个守信的人还是个该死的骗子
Are you an honest man or are you a goddamn liar?

480
00:18:51,760 –> 00:18:54,100
好的 是的 同样的地址
OK. Yes, same address?

481
00:18:55,380 –> 00:18:57,650
好的 很好 到时候见
Good, yeah, great. See you then.

482
00:18:58,340 –> 00:19:01,970
伙计 你简直太牛了 他怎么说
Dude, that was fucking badass. What did he say?

483
00:19:02,480 –> 00:19:04,130
他说他会跳上他的卡车
He said he was gonna get in his truck,

484
00:19:04,130 –> 00:19:06,610
开到这来痛扁我一顿
drive down here and beat the living shit out of me.

485
00:19:04,860 –> 00:20:04,860
{\an9}人人影视
YYeTs.com

487
00:19:06,890 –> 00:19:08,240
那你为什么告诉他地址
Why did you say that was your address?

488
00:19:08,250 –> 00:19:10,100
-随便编个地址 -我不知道

  • Say any other address. - I don’t know.

489
00:19:10,100 –> 00:19:12,110
他的声音很强势
He’s got a very powerful voice.

490
00:19:12,370 –> 00:19:13,460
那我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?

491
00:19:14,290 –> 00:19:15,940
如果你不停的喊自己的名字
If you keep screaming your name,

492
00:19:15,940 –> 00:19:18,130
会强迫对手意识到你是个人
it forces the assailant to acknowledge you as a human.

493
00:19:24,640 –> 00:19:27,180
{\an8}计时
45分钟

494
00:19:46,530 –> 00:19:50,440
现在是下午五点三十五 我已摄入迷幻药
It is now 5:35 PM and I have ingested the psilocybin.

495
00:19:51,010 –> 00:19:52,510
已经开启了倒计时
I have started the countdown timer

496
00:19:53,300 –> 00:19:56,970
预计进入无人之境的时间为
and I will be reaching Sonora and Nirvana in approximately…

497
00:20:00,140 –> 00:20:01,310
我操
Oh, fuck.

498
00:20:11,090 –> 00:20:12,110
糟了
Oh, shit.

499
00:20:14,990 –> 00:20:16,010
他来了 就是他
He’s here, that’s him.

500
00:20:17,670 –> 00:20:18,490
他来了
He came.

501
00:20:19,600 –> 00:20:22,110
-我要报警吗 -不行 那太没种了

  • Should I call 911? - No, that’s a pussy move.

502
00:20:22,120 –> 00:20:23,740
确实弱爆
Yeah, it’s a pussy move.

503
00:20:23,870 –> 00:20:25,390
别出声
Just shush.

504
00:20:25,680 –> 00:20:27,580
安静等他走就好
Just stay here until he goes away, please.

505
00:20:29,850 –> 00:20:31,610
我找’魔笛手’
I’m looking for Pied Piper.

506
00:20:31,910 –> 00:20:33,190
你知道在哪吗
You know where it is?

507
00:20:33,310 –> 00:20:34,600
这就是’魔笛手’
This is Pied Piper.

508
00:20:35,150 –> 00:20:37,530
不不不 是家公司
No, no, no. It’s a company.

509
00:20:37,850 –> 00:20:39,560
应该有栋大办公楼
Like a big, big office.

510
00:20:39,560 –> 00:20:41,940
你知道在哪吗
Do you know where that is?

511
00:20:42,520 –> 00:20:45,880
就在这 ‘魔笛手’
Yeah, this it. Here. Pied Piper.

512
00:20:45,880 –> 00:20:46,750

No…

513
00:20:49,560 –> 00:20:50,640
你好啊 阿诺德
Hi, Arnold.

514
00:20:51,830 –> 00:20:55,400
我叫理查德 我叫理查德 我叫理查德
I’m Richard. I’m Richard. I’m Richard.

515
00:20:55,400 –> 00:20:56,740
唐纳德 我叫唐纳德
Donald. I’m Donald.

516
00:20:56,740 –> 00:20:58,090
理查德 理查德
Richard. Richard…

517
00:20:58,100 –> 00:20:59,250
贾里德 我叫贾里德
Jared. I’m Jared.

518
00:20:59,250 –> 00:21:00,120
理查德 理查德
Richard, Richard, Richard.

519
00:21:00,120 –> 00:21:02,070
-吉尔弗约尔 吉尔弗约尔 -我叫理查德

  • Gilfoyle. Gilfoyle. - My name is Richard.

520
00:21:02,070 –> 00:21:03,730
-贾里德 贾里德 -理查德 理查德

  • Jared, Jared. - Richard, Richard.

521
00:21:03,730 –> 00:21:05,290
吉尔弗约尔 吉尔弗约尔
Gilfoyle, Gilfoyle.

522
00:21:05,290 –> 00:21:07,890
杨靖 杨靖 杨靖
Jing Yang. Jing Yang. Jing Yang.

523
00:21:09,240 –> 00:21:13,340
系统比特数字解决方案
SysBit Digital Solutions.

524
00:21:14,280 –> 00:21:17,780
集成开放数据空间
Integrating Open Data Spaces.

525
00:21:20,070 –> 00:21:23,730
高科技比特数据解决方案系统
TechBitData Solution Systems.

526
00:21:23,960 –> 00:21:25,090
创造
Creating…

527
00:21:25,820 –> 00:21:28,920
独一无二的跨平台科技
unique cross platform technologies.

528
00:21:31,000 –> 00:21:35,880
科技 科基 基督
Technologies. Technolo-Jesus.

529
00:21:35,880 –> 00:21:36,930
我操
Oh, fuck!

530
00:21:38,750 –> 00:21:40,300
这就是’魔笛手’吗
So this is Pied Piper?

531
00:21:40,460 –> 00:21:42,700
价值十亿的公司吗
This is a billion dollar company?

532
00:21:42,700 –> 00:21:44,380
哪有 差得远呢
Not even close. Not yet.

533
00:21:45,530 –> 00:21:47,130
人倒是不少
You pack a lot of guys in here.

534
00:21:47,610 –> 00:21:50,940
让我想起在车库里创立’魔笛手’的时候
It reminds me when I started Pied Piper in my garage.

535
00:21:47,610 –> 00:21:50,940
{\an8}[和苹果公司一样]

536
00:21:52,720 –> 00:21:54,380
真怀念那段时光
I kind of miss those days.

537
00:21:54,650 –> 00:21:55,850
是吗
Oh, yeah?

538
00:21:56,940 –> 00:21:58,030
这么着吧
I’ll tell you what.

539
00:21:58,410 –> 00:22:01,050
五千块 名字归你
Five thousand bucks and the name is yours.

540
00:22:01,820 –> 00:22:04,810
咱们不是说好一千吗
Well, the thing is we agreed on a thousand.

541
00:22:05,500 –> 00:22:07,920
好吧 四千
Fine, four grand.

542
00:22:07,920 –> 00:22:10,570
当初不是这么说定的
Look, that’s not the deal.

543
00:22:10,940 –> 00:22:13,790
-握手成交过的 -两千 不能再低了

  • We shook on it. - Two thousand. Final offer.

544
00:22:14,610 –> 00:22:16,540
两千可以 挺合理的
We could do two. That’s reasonable.

545
00:22:16,540 –> 00:22:19,230
两千不行 贾里德 哪里合理了
No, we can’t do two, Jared. It’s not reasonable at all.

546
00:22:19,260 –> 00:22:22,330
咱们当初说好的一千美元
Look, we shook hands on a thousand dollars. That’s the deal.

547
00:22:23,580 –> 00:22:25,990
好 那就一千
OK. A grand.

548
00:22:26,620 –> 00:22:28,700
但油钱你要出
But you gotta throw in some gas money.

549
00:22:28,700 –> 00:22:31,950
-我一路开车过来的 -你是来扁我的

  • I drove all the way out here. - To come to kick my ass!

550
00:22:31,950 –> 00:22:33,280
不如这么办
OK, you know what?

551
00:22:33,550 –> 00:22:36,990
五百 就给你五百
Five hundred! That’s the deal. Five hundred.

552
00:22:37,490 –> 00:22:39,100
-去你妈的 -不不不

  • Fuck this. - No, no, no, no.

553
00:22:39,100 –> 00:22:39,870
别这样
We don’t have to…

554
00:22:39,870 –> 00:22:42,230
还按之前说好的 一千吧
we can keep it at the original thousand dollars.

555
00:22:42,230 –> 00:22:43,340
那么
So, let’s…

556
00:22:46,210 –> 00:22:49,700
-好吧 成交 -好极了

  • OK, you got a deal. - All right. Cool.

557
00:22:50,330 –> 00:22:51,350
有名字了
We got a name!

558
00:22:51,850 –> 00:22:53,320
信息轨迹
InfoTrode…

559
00:22:53,980 –> 00:22:56,200
基于云技术的分布式平台
Cloud-based, disruptive platforms.

560
00:22:56,600 –> 00:22:58,530
分布式云
Disrupting the cloud through…

561
00:22:58,810 –> 00:23:00,360
该死 说了两次云
I said cloud twice, shit.

562
00:23:00,680 –> 00:23:02,260
让世界更美好
Making the world a better place

563
00:23:02,520 –> 00:23:07,460
使用跨平台面向商业的云…
through cross-platform business facing cloud…

564
00:23:07,460 –> 00:23:09,410
又说 操 又说了次云
There’s that… Shit! There’s that cloud again!

565
00:23:09,800 –> 00:23:11,200
信息轨迹 信息轨迹
Info-trode, info-trode!?

566
00:23:11,200 –> 00:23:12,920
信息轨迹是他妈什么东西
What the fuck is info-trode?

567
00:23:13,140 –> 00:23:16,250
什么玩意啊 都他妈是些无意义的词
What is that? It’s all just fucking meaningless words!

568
00:23:16,250 –> 00:23:18,020
好了 不行
OK. No, no, no…

569
00:23:18,020 –> 00:23:21,350
让世界更美好 让世界更美好
Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place.

570
00:23:21,930 –> 00:23:25,140
让世界更美好 让世界更美好
Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place.

571
00:23:25,240 –> 00:23:28,530
让世界更美好 让世界更美好
Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place.

572
00:23:28,530 –> 00:23:29,170
再见
Good-bye.

573
00:23:29,170 –> 00:23:32,620
让世界更美好 让世界更美好
Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place.

574
00:23:32,630 –> 00:23:36,460
让世界更美好 让世界更美好
Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place.

575
00:23:36,720 –> 00:23:40,430
-让世界更美好 -先生

  • Making the world a better place. - Sir?

576
00:23:40,990 –> 00:23:42,000
你没事吧
Are you OK in there?

577
00:23:42,000 –> 00:23:43,900
让世界更美好
Making the world a better place.

578
00:23:43,900 –> 00:23:45,050
他在里面待了一夜了
He’s been in there all night.

579
00:23:45,340 –> 00:23:46,810
得叫警长过来
I should call the sheriff.

580
00:23:47,470 –> 00:23:48,950
让世界更美好
Making the world a better place…

581
00:23:49,770 –> 00:23:52,000
别 我说了他能处理好
No, I… Hey, I told you he’s going to handle it!

582
00:23:52,000 –> 00:23:53,980
-格里高利先生 太荒唐了 -先生

  • Mr. Gregory, this is ridiculous. - Sir…

583
00:23:54,160 –> 00:23:57,240
格里高利先生 请马上给我们个答复
Mr. Gregory, we need an answer and we need it now!

584
00:23:59,530 –> 00:24:02,490
-什么事 -我们现在就需要那笔钱

  • Yes? - We need money. Now.

585
00:24:02,490 –> 00:24:04,860
我相信’汉堡王’和芝麻
And I’m sure that Burger King and sesame seeds

586
00:24:04,860 –> 00:25:04,860
{\an7}人人影视
YYeTs.com

588
00:24:04,860 –> 00:24:06,790
还有你嘟囔着的其它东西
and whatever else you’ve been mumbling about in here

589
00:24:06,800 –> 00:24:08,550
都值得好好思考…
all seem lovely to think about…

590
00:24:08,550 –> 00:24:10,580
缅甸和巴西
Myanmar and Brazil.

591
00:24:10,580 –> 00:24:12,210
停 停 我们受够了
No, no! No more of this!

592
00:24:12,250 –> 00:24:14,710
你到底给不给我们钱
Ok, are we getting the money or not?

593
00:24:15,140 –> 00:24:17,980
能否请你直接地告诉我们结果
Will you please tell us what the hell is going on?

594
00:24:20,020 –> 00:24:23,210
全世界芝麻供应的三大国中 有两个国家
Amusing coincidence that two of the three countries

595
00:24:23,210 –> 00:24:24,570
蝉的数量都相当庞大
that provide the world’s sesame seeds

596
00:24:24,570 –> 00:24:28,180
这个巧合不是挺有趣的吗
have such large cicada population, no?

597
00:24:28,840 –> 00:24:32,180
缅甸的蝉灾每13年出现一次
The cicadas of Myanmar emerge every 13 years,

598
00:24:32,180 –> 00:24:35,490
而巴西的蝉灾每17年出现一次
while the Brazilian cicadas emerge every 17.

599
00:24:36,020 –> 00:24:39,490
明年他们则会同时孵化
Next year they will hatch, simultaneously,

600
00:24:39,810 –> 00:24:43,430
221年一遇
for the first time in 221 years.

601
00:24:45,000 –> 00:24:47,510
这两国的农作物会被大幅度毁坏
Crops from both countries will be decimated.

602
00:24:48,020 –> 00:24:49,550
不像缅甸和巴西
Unlike Myanmar and Brazil,

603
00:24:49,550 –> 00:24:53,140
印尼则没有蝉灾
Indonesia has no cicada population.

604
00:24:53,690 –> 00:24:55,050
我非常惊讶地发现
I was surprised to see

605
00:24:55,050 –> 00:24:58,800
印尼的芝麻期货价格如此之低
Indonesian sesame seed futures priced so low.

606
00:25:00,260 –> 00:25:01,490
我买入了一批期货
I made a purchase.

607
00:25:01,910 –> 00:25:05,030
那么 如果短缺使得全球价格上涨
And now, if the shortage spikes the global price

608
00:25:05,030 –> 00:25:08,510
即使只有10个百分点 我们将获利…
even ten percent we’ll profit…

609
00:25:09,430 –> 00:25:12,010
-埃文 -6800万

  • Evan? - Sixty-eight million dollars.

610
00:25:12,010 –> 00:25:15,520
如果你们愿意 我可以从那笔预计收入中
If you wish, I could tap that projected revenue

611
00:25:15,520 –> 00:25:18,260
拨出1500万做你们的过渡贷款 先生们
and make you a bridge loan of 15 million dollars, gentlemen.

612
00:25:19,780 –> 00:25:20,910
还是说你们需要更多钱
Unless you need more?

613
00:25:21,100 –> 00:25:23,830
不用 谢谢 谢谢你 天呐
No, that’s… thank you. Thank you, holy shit.

614
00:25:23,830 –> 00:25:25,300
是吗 高兴了吧
Yes? Happy?

615
00:25:25,690 –> 00:25:28,340
你看 我就说他会搞定的
See? I told you he was taking care of it.

616
00:25:28,420 –> 00:25:32,690
那么 有人想吃’汉堡王’吗
And now, would anyone like some BK?

617
00:25:33,670 –> 00:25:36,200
埃文辛辛苦苦出去买早餐
Evan was kind enough to go out and get breakfast.

618
00:25:36,200 –> 00:25:37,780
光放在这儿就浪费了
It’s just sitting here.

619
00:25:37,870 –> 00:25:41,340
-其实我们 当然愿意 -非常感谢

  • Actually, we’d… I’d love some. - Thank you so much.

620
00:25:45,110 –> 00:25:48,490
这烤肉酱里放小茴香了吗
Is there cumin in this barbecue sauce?

621
00:25:50,310 –> 00:25:52,800
-我会去查清楚 -请务必查下

  • I will definitely find out. - Please do.

622
00:26:00,860 –> 00:26:03,400
先生们 我们刚从银行回来
Gentlemen, we just got back from the bank.

623
00:26:03,410 –> 00:26:05,310
我们的第一张存款单
Our first deposit slip.

624
00:26:05,310 –> 00:26:07,260
我们公司正式地命名为’魔笛手’
We are officially Pied Piper.

625
00:26:07,420 –> 00:26:09,020
我也可以合法居留了
And I am officially legal.

626
00:26:09,070 –> 00:26:10,640
迪尼希不停地唠叨
Dinesh wouldn’t shut the hell up,

627
00:26:10,640 –> 00:26:12,350
所以我们最后还是去了签证处
so we finally went to the visa office.

628
00:26:12,370 –> 00:26:13,510
我花5分钟就搞定了
Took me five minutes.

629
00:26:13,840 –> 00:26:15,140
我用了5年时间
Took me five years.

630
00:26:15,140 –> 00:26:18,130
他们问我基地组织的事 问了有14遍
They asked me about Al-Qaeda, like, 14 times.

631
00:26:18,130 –> 00:26:21,150
我车都还没停好他就拿到身份了
He literally got it while I was still looking for parking.

632
00:26:23,810 –> 00:26:26,000
-喂 -是’魔笛手’吗

  • Hello. - Is this Pied Piper?

633
00:26:26,000 –> 00:26:27,600
现在是了 但我们还没打算
It is now, but we’re not

634
00:26:27,600 –> 00:26:29,950
在这个时候增加后续投资人
taking an follow-on investors at this point.

635
00:26:29,950 –> 00:26:31,010
投资人 不
Investors? No,

636
00:26:31,010 –> 00:26:34,780
我是108号公路旁阿科加油站的凯尔西
this is Kelsey from the Arco station out on 108.

637
00:26:34,790 –> 00:26:36,860
有人用屎把你的名字和号码
Someone smeared your name and number

638
00:26:36,860 –> 00:26:39,550
写在了我们厕所墙上
in shit on my bathroom wall.

639
00:26:39,790 –> 00:26:42,230
-我想你大概打错电话了… -理奇

  • Uh, I think you may have the wrong number… - Richie.

640
00:26:44,440 –> 00:26:45,430
各位
Oh, hey, guys.

641
00:26:46,200 –> 00:26:49,100
他是谁
Who is this?

642
00:26:49,100 –> 00:26:51,670
你们不会相信的 但他就是我
You’re not gonna believe this, but this is me.

643
00:26:51,830 –> 00:26:53,000
时间是循环的
Time is a sphere

644
00:26:53,000 –> 00:26:56,500
我在自己还存在的时间段内转世了
and I’ve been reincarnated during the same time period in which I exist.

645
00:26:56,510 –> 00:26:58,010
好吧 但他是哪来的
Yes, but where he come from?

646
00:26:58,010 –> 00:27:00,540
很明显 从未来而来
From the future, obviously.

647
00:27:00,680 –> 00:27:03,670
同时 也来自索诺拉市一个加油站的停车场
Also, from a parking lot at a gas station in Sonora.

648
00:27:04,440 –> 00:27:06,610
他把那袋黄金胶囊[毒品]全吃了
He ate the whole bag of gold caps.

649
00:27:07,320 –> 00:27:08,340
好极了
Awesome!

650
00:27:09,500 –> 00:27:10,270
埃利希…
Erlich…

651
00:27:10,280 –> 00:27:11,590
[西班牙语]

652
00:27:11,590 –> 00:27:12,840
[西班牙语]

653
00:27:13,240 –> 00:27:14,410
[西班牙语]

654
00:27:18,530 –> 00:27:21,450
我是不是该在别人报警前通知警方
So, should I call the cops now before anyone else does?

655
00:27:21,490 –> 00:27:25,580
我刚收到寻找罗吉里欧·纽年斯的安珀警报
I just got an AMBER Alert for Rogilio Nú?ez.

656
00:27:21,490 –> 00:27:25,580
{\an8}[美加两国在儿童被绑架时的应急系统]

657
00:27:26,190 –> 00:27:27,310
好吧
Yeah, OK.

662
00:27:31,620 –> 00:28:36,860
{\an5}{\pos(240,242)}本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译
禁止用作任何商业盈利行为

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